{"id":75097,"date":"2026-04-08T04:43:55","date_gmt":"2026-04-08T00:43:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/azerbaycan.media\/?p=75097"},"modified":"2026-04-08T04:44:39","modified_gmt":"2026-04-08T00:44:39","slug":"atamla-sohb%c9%99t-fuad-bil%c9%99suvarli-yazir","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/azerbaycan.media\/?p=75097","title":{"rendered":"Atamla s\u00f6hb\u0259t…- Fuad Bil\u0259suvarl\u0131 yaz\u0131r<\/span>"},"content":{"rendered":"

 <\/p>\n

\/ Atam\u0131n ad g\u00fcn\u00fcn\u0259 xatir\u0259 – et\u00fcd\\<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

K\u0259nd q\u0259biristanl\u0131\u011f\u0131na do\u011fru gedir\u0259m. A\u011faclar aras\u0131nda yar\u0131gizli uzanan c\u0131\u011f\u0131r\u0131n sonu m\u0259n\u0259 do\u011fma g\u0259lir. Hava dur\u011fun, torpaq sanki xatir\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 doludur. Atam\u0131n m\u0259zar da\u015f\u0131 h\u0259l\u0259 uzaqdan se\u00e7ilir \u2014 o, s\u00fckutla m\u0259n\u0259 bax\u0131r.<\/p>\n

\u2014 Salam ata…<\/p>\n

Bu iki s\u00f6z i\u00e7imd\u0259 ild\u0131r\u0131m kimi \u00e7ax\u0131r. Qar\u015f\u0131mda ucalan da\u015fda ayaq \u00fcst\u0259, bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131 bir az s\u0259rt, bir az mehriban… \u015f\u0259kli canl\u0131 kimi. El\u0259 bil m\u0259n g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259n b\u0259ri g\u00f6zl\u0259yirmi\u015f. G\u00f6zl\u0259rimi \u00e7\u0259k\u0259 bilmir\u0259m. \u0130\u00e7imd\u0259 bir d\u00fcy\u00fcn var, dan\u0131\u015fmaq ist\u0259yir\u0259m, amma s\u00f6zl\u0259r sanki m\u0259ni t\u0259rk edib.<\/p>\n

Bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259qiq\u0259 ke\u00e7ir. Sanki s\u00fckutun i\u00e7ind\u0259 onun n\u0259f\u0259sini e\u015fidir\u0259m. Bu s\u0259ssizlikd\u0259 \u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck s\u00f6hb\u0259t ya\u015fan\u0131r.<\/p>\n

\u2014 Bu g\u00fcn ad g\u00fcn\u00fcnd\u00fcr… Avqustun 10-u.<\/p>\n

Bu tarix m\u0259nd\u0259 bir himn kimi s\u0259sl\u0259nir, bir \u00f6m\u00fcrl\u00fck qeyd kimi. O is\u0259 d\u0259yi\u015fm\u0259y\u0259n bax\u0131\u015f\u0131yla \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 bax\u0131r \u2014 s\u00fckutlu, amma q\u0259bul ed\u0259n.<\/p>\n

Q\u0259h\u0259r bo\u011fur m\u0259ni. Hissl\u0259rimi bo\u011fmamaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn g\u00f6zl\u0259rimi yumuram. Bird\u0259n, yad\u0131ma d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u2026 ill\u0259r \u00f6nc\u0259 yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131m misralar, bir ax\u015fam \u00fcst\u00fc, bir itkini hiss etm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131m g\u00fcn:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

— K\u00f6nl\u00fcm q\u00fcbarlan\u0131b solas\u0131 idi,
\nHicran sa\u00e7lar\u0131m\u0131 yolas\u0131 idi,
\nBilirdim, m\u0259n\u0259 bu, olas\u0131 idi,
\nA\u011flay\u0131n b\u0259xtim\u0259, taleyim\u0259 siz…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bu misralar onunla dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u0259n s\u0259mimi c\u00fcml\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 \u00e7evrilir. Da\u015f\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259ki \u00fcz ifad\u0259si sanki d\u0259yi\u015fir. Sanki o da misralarla cavab verir \u2014 susaraq, amma ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u0259r\u0259k…<\/p>\n

S\u0259n\u0259 bir \u015feir d\u0259 h\u0259sr etmi\u015f\u0259m, ata. Bu da bir n\u00f6v s\u0259ninl\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fmaqd\u0131r. Susursan… amma bu s\u00fckutun i\u00e7ind\u0259 n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r s\u00f6z gizl\u0259nib.<\/p>\n

\u2014 Qoy s\u00f6yl\u0259yim, ata…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

— Bir az g\u00f6zd\u0259n, bir az \u00fczd\u0259n,
\nDan\u0131\u015fanda \u00f6tk\u0259m s\u00f6zd\u0259n,
\nQara teld\u0259n, a\u011f b\u0259nizd\u0259n,
\nM\u0259n atama b\u0259nz\u0259yir\u0259m.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bu misralar da\u015f\u0131n \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259 p\u0131\u00e7\u0131lday\u0131r sanki. R\u00fczgar onlar\u0131 m\u0259zar\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131nda f\u0131s\u0131lday\u0131r \u2014 v\u0259 b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 s\u0259n e\u015fidirs\u0259n. Bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131n d\u0259yi\u015fmir, amma m\u0259n bilir\u0259m: s\u0259n indi bu misralarla n\u0259f\u0259s al\u0131rsan.<\/p>\n

\u2014 S\u0259ni h\u0259r g\u00fcn xat\u0131rlay\u0131r\u0131q\u2026 Evd\u0259 d\u0259 h\u0259r \u015fey s\u0259ni xat\u0131rlad\u0131r. H\u0259r \u015fey yerind\u0259dir. Birc\u0259 s\u0259n \u00e7atm\u0131rsan…<\/p>\n

Q\u0259h\u0259r yen\u0259 d\u0259 kal meyv\u0259 kimi bo\u011faz\u0131m\u0131 tutub, dan\u0131\u015fa bilmir\u0259m. Amma s\u0259n\u0259 dem\u0259y\u0259 s\u00f6z\u00fcm \u00e7oxdur. Zaman ke\u00e7ir \u2014 d\u0259qiq\u0259l\u0259r s\u00fcr\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr. Biz is\u0259 \u00fcz-\u00fcz\u0259yik. M\u0259n dan\u0131\u015fmaq ist\u0259yir\u0259m, s\u0259n is\u0259 susaraq dinl\u0259yirs\u0259n.<\/p>\n

Bu susqunluq bir dialoqa \u00e7evrilir: s\u0259nin yoxlu\u011funda varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hiss etdiyim anlara…<\/p>\n

K\u0259d\u0259rli g\u00f6zl\u0259riml\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 bax\u0131ram. M\u0259zar da\u015f\u0131 arxas\u0131nda \u015f\u0259kli durur \u2014 qabar\u0131q, lakin t\u0259mkinli… bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131 i\u00e7im\u0259 n\u00fcfuz edir.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\u2014 S\u0259n art\u0131q \u0259b\u0259di evind\u0259s\u0259n, ata… Bizs\u0259 h\u0259l\u0259 yol gedirik. N\u0259 vaxt qurtaracaq bu yol, bilmirik.<\/p>\n

S\u00fckut sanki qal\u0131n bir p\u0259rd\u0259 kimi aram\u0131za \u00e7\u0259kilib. Bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131nla dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rsan, amma yen\u0259 d\u0259 k\u0259d\u0259rli bir susqunluq h\u00f6km s\u00fcr\u00fcr. R\u00fczgar s\u0259ssizliyi ox\u015fay\u0131r. Q\u0259biristanl\u0131qda h\u0259r a\u011fac, h\u0259r k\u00f6lg\u0259 bu dialoqa \u015fahiddir.<\/p>\n

\u2014 H\u0259yat\u0131n qanunu bel\u0259dir\u2026 D\u00fcnyaya g\u00f6z a\u00e7d\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z an, \u0259b\u0259di m\u0259nzilimiz\u0259 do\u011fru yola \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r\u0131q. B\u0259zil\u0259ri yolun q\u0131sas\u0131nda dayan\u0131r, b\u0259zil\u0259ri uzaqlara gedir. S\u0259n dayand\u0131n. Biz h\u0259l\u0259 gedirik.<\/p>\n

N\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259rdir \u00fcz-\u00fcz\u0259yik?! Zaman\u0131n \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fc itirmi\u015f\u0259m. Bu lal\u2013dinm\u0259zlik adam\u0131 yava\u015f-yava\u015f i\u00e7d\u0259n da\u011f\u0131d\u0131r. Fikirl\u0259\u015fir\u0259m\u2026 Ka\u015f bir k\u0259lm\u0259 s\u00f6z dey\u0259ydin. N\u0259 olard\u0131 ki? Bir \u201co\u011flum\u201d des\u0259ydin, bir \u201cs\u0259n\u0259 bax\u0131ram\u201d p\u0131\u00e7\u0131ldasayd\u0131n. Bu m\u0259nim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn bir t\u0259s\u0259lli, bir dayaq olard\u0131…<\/p>\n

Amma bu \u0259b\u0259di yoldan geri d\u00f6n\u0259n olmay\u0131b. Bu yol, bir gedi\u015fdir \u2014 t\u0259k s\u0259mtli.<\/p>\n

Biz d\u00f6z\u00fcr\u00fck. \u00c7\u00fcnki s\u0259nsizliyin \u00e7ar\u0259si budur.
\nD\u00f6zm\u0259k \u2014 sevginin son s\u0259hn\u0259si.
\nS\u0259ni unutmaq yox, s\u0259nsiz ya\u015fama\u011f\u0131 \u00f6yr\u0259nm\u0259k…<\/p>\n

Gec\u0259nin qaranl\u0131\u011f\u0131 il\u0259 birg\u0259 yava\u015f-yava\u015f i\u00e7im qaral\u0131r.
\nR\u00fczgar g\u00fcll\u0259ri t\u0259rp\u0259dir, el\u0259 bil onlar\u0131 s\u0131\u011fallayan atam\u0131n n\u0259f\u0259sidir…
\nSaqqal\u0131 qap-qara olan mollan\u0131n s\u0259si s\u00fckutu yar\u0131r:
\n\u2014 Yasin oxutduracaqs\u0131n\u0131z?<\/p>\n

Ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 y\u00fcng\u00fclc\u0259 t\u0259rp\u0259dir\u0259m. \u201cH\u0259,\u201d deyir\u0259m, amma s\u0259sim i\u00e7imd\u0259 bat\u0131r.
\nH\u0259r \u015fey sanki yerind\u0259n oynay\u0131r, amma he\u00e7 n\u0259 d\u0259yi\u015fmir.<\/p>\n

Bir g\u00f6z q\u0131rp\u0131m\u0131nda hava qaral\u0131r,
\nGec\u0259, q\u0259bir \u00fcst\u0259 g\u00fcl kimi a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131r.
\nAtam\u0131n bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131 m\u0259ni \u0259zab dolu s\u00fckutla m\u00fc\u015fayi\u0259t edir.
\nSanki son d\u0259f\u0259 deyir:
\n\u2014 “Daha gecdir, get…”<\/p>\n

Add\u0131mlar\u0131m s\u0259s\u0259 \u00e7evrilir. H\u0259r biri bir xatir\u0259nin \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259n ke\u00e7ir.
\nArxaya boylan\u0131ram.
\nM\u0259zar da\u015f\u0131 sanki t\u0259rp\u0259ndi.
\nTitr\u0259yir\u0259m.
\n\u0130nanmaq ist\u0259yir\u0259m.
\nAmma… yox. Ax\u015fam mehidir.
\nG\u00fcll\u0259ri t\u0259rp\u0259dir. T\u0259kc\u0259 g\u00fcll\u0259ri.<\/p>\n

N\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r yalvard\u0131m ki, m\u00f6c\u00fcz\u0259 olsun…
\nO da\u015f dan\u0131\u015fs\u0131n, o bax\u0131\u015flar cavab versin…
\nBir k\u0259lm\u0259, bir \u0259fv, bir sar\u0131lma \u2014 haradan g\u0259l\u0259rdis\u0259 g\u0259lsin…<\/p>\n

Amma s\u00fckut susdu.
\nDualar g\u00f6y\u0259 qalxmad\u0131.
\nG\u00f6y \u00f6z\u00fc boyun qa\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131 bu g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fd\u0259n.<\/p>\n

Uzaqla\u015f\u0131ram…
\nAyaqlar\u0131m torpa\u011fa bat\u0131r, amma ruhum burada qal\u0131r.
\nG\u00f6zl\u0259rim axan ya\u015fla deyil,
\nQ\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f \u00fcmidl\u0259 dolur.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Atam\u0131n m\u0259zarda ruhu \u00fc\u015f\u00fcy\u00fcr!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bir qar\u0131\u015fqa, b\u00f6c\u0259k \u0259zm\u0259y\u0259n k\u0259sin,
\nSays\u0131z d\u0259rdl\u0259rind\u0259n bezm\u0259y\u0259n k\u0259sin.
\nSa\u011f ik\u0259n soyu\u011fa d\u00f6zm\u0259y\u0259n k\u0259sin,
\nAtam\u0131n m\u0259zarda ruhu \u00fc\u015f\u00fcy\u00fcr!<\/p>\n

H\u0259mi\u015f\u0259ki kimi sol\u011fun olsa da,
\nYorulub yatsa da, yor\u011fun olsa da.
\n\u00c7i\u00e7\u0259kl\u0259r \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 yor\u011fan olsa da,
\nAtam\u0131n m\u0259zarda ruhu \u00fc\u015f\u00fcy\u00fcr!<\/p>\n

\u00c7ox erk\u0259n \u0259c\u0259lin at\u0131na min\u0259n,
\nQ\u0131rx yeddi ya\u015f\u0131nda \u00e7\u0131ra\u011f\u0131 s\u00f6n\u0259n.
\nTorpa\u011fa qar\u0131\u015f\u0131b, torpa\u011fa d\u00f6n\u0259n,
\nAtam\u0131n m\u0259zarda ruhu \u00fc\u015f\u00fcy\u00fcr!<\/p>\n

Quca\u011fa almad\u0131 bir n\u0259v\u0259 pay\u0131,
\nDoyunca g\u00f6rm\u0259di bahar\u0131, yay\u0131.
\nTez d\u0259ydi k\u00f6ks\u00fcnd\u0259n f\u0259l\u0259yin yay\u0131,
\nAtam\u0131n m\u0259zarda ruhu \u00fc\u015f\u00fcy\u00fcr!<\/p>\n

M\u0259nim\u00e7\u00fcn \u00f6lm\u0259yib, var olan insan,
\nRuhunu \u015fad etsin uca Yaradan!
\nGet \u00fcst\u00fcn\u00fc basd\u0131r ay \u0259ziz anam,
\nAtam\u0131n m\u0259zarda ruhu \u00fc\u015f\u00fcy\u00fcr!<\/p>\n

M\u0259n atama b\u0259nz\u0259yir\u0259m!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bir az g\u00f6zd\u0259n, bir az \u00fczd\u0259n,
\nDan\u0131\u015fanda \u00f6tk\u0259m s\u00f6zd\u0259n,
\nQara teld\u0259n, a\u011f b\u0259nizd\u0259n
\nM\u0259n atama b\u0259nz\u0259yir\u0259m.<\/p>\n

S\u0259mimiy\u0259m m\u0259n olduqca,
\nD\u00fcz deyir\u0259m lap a\u00e7\u0131qca.
\nZaman \u00f6t\u00fcb ya\u015fla\u015fd\u0131qca
\nM\u0259n atama b\u0259nz\u0259yir\u0259m.<\/p>\n

Qanacaqda, m\u0259rif\u0259td\u0259,
\nBoy-buxunda, \u015fux qam\u0259td\u0259,
\nH\u0259m \u0259m\u0259kd\u0259, h\u0259m s\u0259n\u0259td\u0259
\nM\u0259n atama b\u0259nz\u0259yir\u0259m.<\/p>\n

Q\u0259lbi yuxa olma\u011f\u0131mda,
\nQay\u011f\u0131ya da qalma\u011f\u0131mda,
\nS\u00f6z\u0259 meyil salma\u011f\u0131mda
\nM\u0259n atama b\u0259nz\u0259yir\u0259m.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bir ya\u015fl\u0131 n\u0259f\u0259si g\u0259lm\u0259y\u0259n evd\u0259<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u018fz\u0259ld\u0259n bu olub do\u011fru, h\u0259qiq\u0259t,
\nB\u00f6y\u00fcks\u00fcz evl\u0259rd\u0259 olmur s\u0259ad\u0259t.
\nH\u0259r \u015fey qa\u00e7aq d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr ruzi, b\u0259r\u0259k\u0259t,
\nBir ya\u015fl\u0131 n\u0259f\u0259si g\u0259lm\u0259y\u0259n evd\u0259.<\/p>\n

\u018fn \u015firin n\u0259\u011fm\u0259l\u0259r a\u011f\u0131ya d\u00f6n\u00fcr,
\nS\u00f6n\u00fcr \u0259b\u0259dilik \u00e7\u0131ra\u011f\u0131 s\u00f6n\u00fcr.
\nCans\u0131z da\u015f divar da can verir, \u00f6l\u00fcr,
\nBir ya\u015fl\u0131 n\u0259f\u0259si g\u0259lm\u0259y\u0259n evd\u0259.<\/p>\n

K\u0259d\u0259rli g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr qap\u0131, p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259,
\nOlmur ev-e\u015fikd\u0259 g\u00f6z\u0259l m\u0259nz\u0259r\u0259.
\nD\u0259ymir bir yax\u015f\u0131 \u015fey g\u00f6z\u0259, n\u0259z\u0259r\u0259,
\nBir ya\u015fl\u0131 n\u0259f\u0259si g\u0259lm\u0259y\u0259n evd\u0259.<\/p>\n

H\u0259m s\u00fckutu a\u011f\u0131r, havas\u0131 a\u011f\u0131r,
\nH\u00f6r\u00fcm\u00e7\u0259k tor qurur, evi toz bas\u0131r.
\nHe\u00e7 olmur bir \u015f\u0259nlik, n\u0259 d\u0259 \u00e7al-\u00e7a\u011f\u0131r,
\nBir ya\u015fl\u0131 n\u0259f\u0259si g\u0259lm\u0259y\u0259n evd\u0259.<\/p>\n