![\"\"](\"http:\/\/img.edebiyyatqazeti.az\/uploads\/fe0cb232bc924b380519d5e642dc2efd.jpg\")
<\/p>\nS\u0259h\u0259r idi. \u015e\u0259h\u0259r yuxudan oyanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u0130\u015f\u0259 t\u0259l\u0259s\u0259nl\u0259rl\u0259 dolu avtobus l\u0259ng\u0259r vuraraq \u015f\u0259h\u0259rin k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259ri il\u0259 h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259t edirdi.<\/p>\n
P\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259nin yan\u0131ndak\u0131 oturacaqlardan birind\u0259 \u015f\u0131q geyimli g\u00f6z\u0259l bir qad\u0131n oturmu\u015fdu. O, ki\u00e7ik qara \u00e7antas\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131q dizl\u0259rinin \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 qoymu\u015fdu. Boynundak\u0131 mavi r\u0259ngli z\u0259rif yayl\u0131q t\u00fcnd g\u00f6y kostyumuna \u00e7ox yara\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. Qad\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fc, inc\u0259 cizgil\u0259ri, g\u00f6zl\u0259rinin yan\u0131nda azac\u0131q se\u00e7il\u0259n q\u0131r\u0131\u015flar g\u0259nclik d\u00f6vr\u00fcn\u00fc gerid\u0259 qoydu\u011fundan x\u0259b\u0259r verirdi. O, arxaya s\u00f6yk\u0259n\u0259r\u0259k h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tsiz oturub p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n \u00e7\u00f6l\u0259 baxsa da, \u0259slind\u0259 he\u00e7 n\u0259 g\u00f6rm\u00fcr, fikirl\u0259rind\u0259 \u00f6z-\u00f6z\u00fc il\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131: \u201cHavalar yaman soyuyub, u\u015fa\u011fa g\u00f6d\u0259k\u00e7\u0259 almaq laz\u0131md\u0131r. Bu h\u0259ft\u0259 g\u0259r\u0259k bu m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259ni h\u0259ll ed\u0259k, daha uzatmaq olmaz\u201d. O, o\u011flunun s\u0259h\u0259r m\u0259kt\u0259b\u0259 ged\u0259rk\u0259n onu nec\u0259 qucaqlay\u0131b \u00f6pd\u00fcy\u00fcn\u00fc, \u201cAna, bu g\u00fcn \u00e7ox g\u00f6z\u0259ls\u0259n\u201d, – deyib g\u00f6z vurdu\u011funu xat\u0131rlayaraq g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259di: \u201cYaman \u015feydir! Ma\u015fallah, boyu da xeyli uzan\u0131b\u201d. O\u011flunun m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259ki u\u011furlar\u0131n\u0131, riyaziyyat olimpiadas\u0131nda birinci yer\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 yad\u0131na sald\u0131qca \u00fcr\u0259yi f\u0259r\u0259hl\u0259 d\u00f6y\u00fcnd\u00fc. Cavidl\u0259 evl\u0259n\u0259nd\u0259n sonra bir ne\u00e7\u0259 il u\u015faqlar\u0131 olmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. O, birc\u0259 balas\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7ox \u0259zab-\u0259ziyy\u0259tl\u0259, n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r m\u00fcalic\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n, iztirablardan sonra, ana olmaq \u00fcmidini tamamil\u0259 itirtdiyi bir vaxtda tapm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u0130ndi o\u011flunun h\u0259r u\u011furunu sonsuz sevinc v\u0259 f\u0259r\u0259hl\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131lay\u0131r, \u00fcr\u0259yi da\u011fa d\u00f6n\u00fcrd\u00fc.<\/p>\n
S\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fc radionun s\u0259sini qald\u0131rd\u0131, m\u00fc\u011f\u0259nninin \u00fcr\u0259y\u0259yat\u0131ml\u0131 s\u0259si salonu b\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fc: \u201cKe\u00e7\u0259n g\u00fcnl\u0259rimi qaytarayd\u0131lar, g\u0259l\u0259n g\u00fcnl\u0259rimi qurban ver\u0259rdim!..\u201d Bu mahn\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7ox sevirdi, onun g\u0259nclik ill\u0259rinin \u0259n d\u0259bd\u0259 olan mahn\u0131lar\u0131ndan idi. \u201cN\u0259 g\u00f6z\u0259l oxuyur. Ke\u00e7\u0259n g\u00fcnl\u0259r… N\u0259 tez ke\u00e7di! U\u015faql\u0131q, sonra g\u0259nclik ill\u0259ri… Ka\u015f onlar\u0131 qaytarmaq m\u00fcmkun olayd\u0131! Amma yox, g\u0259l\u0259n g\u00fcnl\u0259ri qurban verm\u0259k ist\u0259m\u0259zdim. G\u0259l\u0259n g\u00fcnl\u0259rimd\u0259 n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r arzular\u0131m\u0131n ger\u00e7\u0259kl\u0259\u015f\u0259c\u0259yini g\u00f6zl\u0259yir\u0259m, \u00fcmidl\u0259rim, balam\u0131n u\u011furlar\u0131 g\u0259l\u0259n g\u00fcnl\u0259riml\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131d\u0131r. H\u0259r\u0259sinin \u00f6z yeri var: ke\u00e7\u0259n g\u00fcnl\u0259r, g\u0259l\u0259n g\u00fcnl\u0259r…\u201d<\/p>\n
S\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fc q\u0259fl\u0259t\u0259n s\u00fcr\u0259ti azaltd\u0131. Bir-birinin \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 y\u0131x\u0131lan s\u0259rni\u015finl\u0259r naraz\u0131l\u0131qlar\u0131n\u0131 bildir\u0259r\u0259k deyindil\u0259r. Oturacaqdan qaba\u011fa s\u00fcr\u00fc\u015f\u0259n qad\u0131n \u00fczb\u0259\u00fczd\u0259 oturmu\u015f adam\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 y\u0131x\u0131lmamaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u0259lini onun dizi \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259ki portfel\u0259 dir\u0259di. Onun \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 baxmadan ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 bulayaraq: \u201c\u00dczr ist\u0259yir\u0259m\u201d, – dedi. \u018fg\u0259r baxsayd\u0131, adam\u0131n g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259y\u0259r\u0259k ona nec\u0259 xo\u015f n\u0259z\u0259rl\u0259r yetirdiyini g\u00f6r\u0259rdi.<\/p>\n
Oturacaqda yerini rahatlay\u0131b yen\u0259 p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n \u00e7\u00f6l\u0259 baxma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131. S\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259n g\u00fccl\u0259n\u0259n k\u00fcl\u0259k sanki he\u00e7 k\u0259sin ona fikir verm\u0259dyind\u0259n \u0259s\u0259bil\u0259\u015fib tozu g\u00f6y\u0259 sovururdu. Avtobus hasara al\u0131nm\u0131\u015f yeni bir tikintinin yan\u0131ndan ke\u00e7irdi. Yen\u0259 d\u0259 \u201cM\u00fcv\u0259qq\u0259ti narahatl\u0131\u011fa g\u00f6r\u0259 \u00fczr ist\u0259yirik\u201d yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. K\u00f6ks\u00fcn\u00fc \u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc. – \u201cBax, burada kinoteatr var idi, biz Cavidl\u0259 ilk d\u0259f\u0259 kinoya getmi\u015fdik\u201d, – ni\u015fanland\u0131qdan sonra g\u0259zm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131qlar\u0131 ilk g\u00fcn\u00fc xat\u0131rlad\u0131: – \u201cM\u0259n ya\u015f\u0131l paltar geymi\u015fdim, Cavid d\u0259 t\u0259sad\u00fcf\u0259n ya\u015f\u0131l k\u00f6yn\u0259kd\u0259 idi. N\u0259 g\u00f6z\u0259l vaxtlar idi\u201d. S\u0259h\u0259r tezd\u0259n vaxt tap\u0131b \u0259ri \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn s\u0259h\u0259r yem\u0259yi haz\u0131rlad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 xat\u0131rlay\u0131b \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n raz\u0131 g\u00f6rk\u0259m ald\u0131: \u201cM\u0259tb\u0259xd\u0259 e\u015f\u0259l\u0259nm\u0259yi he\u00e7 sevmir. Bu basabasda ona yem\u0259k d\u0259 haz\u0131rlam\u0131\u015fam – g\u00f6r\u00fcb sevin\u0259c\u0259k. Y\u0259qin z\u0259ng vurub t\u0259\u015f\u0259kk\u00fcr ed\u0259c\u0259k\u201d. O, \u0259rinin xasiyy\u0259tin\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 b\u0259l\u0259d oldu\u011fundan bir-iki gedi\u015f \u0259vv\u0259ld\u0259n onun nec\u0259 davranaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilirdi.<\/p>\n
T\u0259sad\u00fcf\u0259n g\u00f6z\u00fc qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndak\u0131 portfel\u0259 sata\u015fd\u0131: \u201cAmma bayaq yaman s\u00fcr\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm. Bu portfel olmasa, adam\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 y\u0131x\u0131lacaqd\u0131m\u201d. G\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc qald\u0131r\u0131b \u00fczb\u0259\u00fczd\u0259 oturmu\u015f adama – portfelin yiy\u0259sin\u0259 baxd\u0131. Bu, q\u0131rx be\u015f-\u0259lli ya\u015flar\u0131nda, a\u011fl\u0131-qaral\u0131 sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 arxaya daram\u0131\u015f xo\u015fsif\u0259t bir ki\u015fi idi v\u0259 ilk bax\u0131\u015fdan qad\u0131na yax\u015f\u0131 t\u0259sir ba\u011f\u0131\u015flad\u0131. \u201cY\u0259qin m\u00fc\u0259llimdir, portfelind\u0259 d\u0259 d\u0259ft\u0259r-kitab var. Ya da ki, idar\u0259 i\u015f\u00e7isidir, portfelind\u0259ki d\u0259 qovluqlard\u0131r. Kim bilir? H\u0259r halda m\u0259d\u0259ni v\u0259 ziyal\u0131 adam oldu\u011fu hiss olunur. Bel\u0259sinin \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 y\u0131x\u0131lmaq da olar…\u201d \u0130\u00e7ind\u0259 g\u00fcld\u00fc. T\u0259sad\u00fcf\u0259n n\u0259z\u0259rl\u0259ri toqqu\u015fdu. Qad\u0131na el\u0259 g\u0259ldi ki, bu adam onun fikrind\u0259n ke\u00e7\u0259nl\u0259ri duydu. O utan\u0131b s\u0131x\u0131ld\u0131 v\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc yana – p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259y\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f d\u00f6nd\u0259rdi, n\u0259bzi b\u0259rk-b\u0259rk vurdu.<\/p>\n
\u201cB\u0259rkd\u0259n dem\u0259dim ha! \u00dcr\u0259yimd\u0259 fikirl\u0259\u015fdim d\u0259. G\u00f6r\u0259s\u0259n n\u0259d\u0259n bel\u0259 h\u0259y\u0259canland\u0131m?\u201d Yenic\u0259 h\u0259ddi-b\u00fclu\u011fa \u00e7atd\u0131\u011f\u0131, h\u0259r diqq\u0259tli bax\u0131\u015fdan al\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131 vaxtlar yad\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. \u201cO zamanlar \u00e7oxdan ke\u00e7ib, \u00f6m\u00fcr yar\u0131 olub. Yar\u0131 n\u0259dir, \u00f6mr\u00fcm\u00fcn yar\u0131dan \u00e7oxunu ya\u015fam\u0131\u015fam. \u0130\u015fl\u0259y\u0259n qad\u0131n \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn vaxt lap tez ke\u00e7ir. Soyuqda da, istid\u0259 d\u0259, qarda da, ya\u011f\u0131\u015fda da h\u0259r s\u0259h\u0259r tezd\u0259n durub i\u015f\u0259 getm\u0259k laz\u0131m g\u0259lir. H\u0259rd\u0259n yoruluram. El\u0259 \u00f6mr\u00fcm\u00fcn ax\u0131r\u0131na kimi bel\u0259mi olacaq? Amma i\u015fl\u0259m\u0259m\u0259k d\u0259 bir \u015fey deyil, d\u00fcnyadan, h\u0259yatdan geri qal\u0131rsan. Cavanlarla i\u015fl\u0259m\u0259k lap yax\u015f\u0131d\u0131r, adam ruh\u0259n cavan qal\u0131r\u201d. \u0130\u015f yolda\u015flar\u0131ndan birinin dedikl\u0259ri yad\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc: \u201c\u0130\u015fl\u0259y\u0259n qad\u0131n\u0131n h\u00f6rm\u0259ti daha \u00e7ox olur\u201d. \u201cDo\u011frudanm\u0131 bel\u0259dir? Geyinib-kecinib b\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcn\u00fc ma\u011fazalar\u0131 g\u0259zm\u0259k daha yax\u015f\u0131 deyilmi? Bilmir\u0259m, h\u0259r halda m\u0259n bel\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259n deyil\u0259m\u201d.<\/p>\n
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N\u0259z\u0259rl\u0259rini qald\u0131r\u0131b yen\u0259 \u00fczb\u0259\u00fczd\u0259ki adama baxd\u0131, onun geyimin\u0259 – boz kostyumunun alt\u0131ndan g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259n a\u011fappaq k\u00f6yn\u0259yin\u0259, d\u0259sti tamamlayan a\u011f-qara qalstukuna, s\u0259liq\u0259 il\u0259 daranm\u0131\u015f sa\u00e7lar\u0131na fikir verdi. \u201cG\u00f6zl\u0259rinin r\u0259ngi a\u00e7\u0131q ya\u015f\u0131ld\u0131r! \u00c7ox g\u00f6z\u0259l v\u0259 c\u0259lbedicidir, \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 d\u0259 q\u0259rib\u0259 bir ifad\u0259 verir. G\u00f6r\u0259s\u0259n o n\u0259 fikirl\u0259\u015fir? Odam\u0131 yar\u0131dan \u00e7oxu ke\u00e7mi\u015f \u00f6mr\u00fcn\u00fc inc\u0259l\u0259yir? Y\u0259qin cavanl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda cox yara\u015f\u0131ql\u0131 g\u0259nc olub, el\u0259 indi d\u0259 pis deyil…\u201d N\u0259z\u0259rl\u0259ri yen\u0259 toqqu\u015fdu, qad\u0131na el\u0259 g\u0259ldi ki, \u201ch\u0259ms\u00f6hb\u0259ti\u201d g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259di. \u201cAy Allah! O niy\u0259 g\u00fcld\u00fc? Yoxsa fikrimd\u0259n ke\u00e7\u0259nl\u0259ri h\u0259qiq\u0259t\u0259n oxuyur? Bel\u0259 \u015feyl\u0259r var ax\u0131: telepatiya, telekinez… Bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131 \u00e7ox q\u0259rib\u0259 idi, n\u0259 is\u0259 bir m\u0259na vard\u0131 onlarda. N\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259lir ki, bu adam\u0131 lap \u00e7oxdan tan\u0131y\u0131ram, m\u0259n\u0259 \u00e7ox do\u011fma v\u0259 yax\u0131n g\u0259lir. Onunla dan\u0131\u015fmaq, hal-\u0259hval tutmaq ist\u0259yir\u0259m. G\u00f6r\u0259s\u0259n kimdir, n\u0259\u00e7idir, harada i\u015fl\u0259yir? B\u0259lk\u0259 ona m\u00fcraci\u0259t edim, soru\u015fum? Burada n\u0259 var ki, insan\u0131q da?\u201d O, a\u011fl\u0131na g\u0259l\u0259n bu fikird\u0259n tez vaz ke\u00e7di: \u201cA\u011fl\u0131m\u0131 itirmi\u015f\u0259m lap! Tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131m ki\u015fi il\u0259 n\u0259 i\u015fim var? N\u0259 fikirl\u0259\u015f\u0259r m\u0259nim haqq\u0131mda?\u201d \u00dcz\u00fcn\u00fc \u00e7evirib yen\u0259 p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n baxma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131.<\/p>\n
H\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131n\u0131n f\u0259ls\u0259f\u0259sini yad\u0131na sald\u0131: \u201cQad\u0131n ki\u015fiy\u0259 birinci m\u00fcraci\u0259t edirs\u0259, onda tam \u0259minlikl\u0259 ona giri\u015fm\u0259k olar! Q\u0259l\u0259b\u0259y\u0259 he\u00e7 bir \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259 yoxdur!\u201d \u201cKi\u015fil\u0259rin f\u0259ls\u0259f\u0259si \u00e7ox sad\u0259dir, onlar\u0131n a\u011fl\u0131nda yaln\u0131z birc\u0259 \u015fey var. Onlar bizi he\u00e7 d\u0259 h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fcrl\u0259r. M\u0259s\u0259l\u0259n, m\u0259n bu adama mara\u011f\u0131m\u0131 he\u00e7 c\u00fcr Cavid\u0259 izah ed\u0259 bilm\u0259r\u0259m. Ki\u015fi v\u0259 qad\u0131n aras\u0131nda m\u00fcnasib\u0259tl\u0259ri g\u00f6r\u0259s\u0259n niy\u0259 bel\u0259 b\u0259sit b\u00f6l\u00fcbl\u0259r: m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259t v\u0259 ya dostluq? He\u00e7 d\u0259 bel\u0259 deyil! Hissl\u0259r o q\u0259d\u0259r m\u00fcxt\u0259lifdir ki… M\u0259s\u0259l\u0259n, bu adama qar\u015f\u0131 h\u0131ssl\u0259rim\u0259 he\u00e7 bir ad ver\u0259 bilmir\u0259m, amma ayd\u0131n m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259dir ki, ona qar\u015f\u0131 bigan\u0259 deyil\u0259m. \u0130st\u0259yir\u0259m ki, o m\u0259n\u0259 diqq\u0259t g\u00f6st\u0259rsin, m\u0259niml\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fs\u0131n. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 bu, ruhun ehtiyaclar\u0131ndan ir\u0259li g\u0259lir, amma he\u00e7 d\u0259 o dem\u0259k deyil ki, m\u0259n \u00f6z \u0259rimi sevmir\u0259m. G\u00f6r\u0259s\u0259n bu hiss\u0259 n\u0259 ad verm\u0259k olar?\u201d Hissl\u0259r bar\u0259d\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc. \u201cMayas\u0131nda Zen f\u0259ls\u0259f\u0259si durur. Onun dediyin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u00fcnyan\u0131 hissl\u0259r idar\u0259 el\u0259yir – \u0259sas hissl\u0259r v\u0259 qar\u0131\u015f\u0131q hissl\u0259r var. Qar\u0131\u015f\u0131qlar \u0259sas hissl\u0259rin \u00fcst-\u00fcst\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259sind\u0259n yaran\u0131r – r\u0259ngl\u0259r kimi. M\u0259nim hiss el\u0259diyim, y\u0259qin hissl\u0259rin qar\u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131d\u0131r…\u201c Bir ne\u00e7\u0259 g\u00fcn \u0259vv\u0259l qeyri-s\u0259lis m\u0259ntiq bar\u0259d\u0259 bir verili\u015fd\u0259 e\u015fitdikl\u0259ri d\u0259 yad\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc v\u0259 sanki h\u0259r \u015fey ayd\u0131n oldu: \u201cN\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r sad\u0259 imi\u015f! L\u00fctfi Zad\u0259 dahidir, dahi. C\u00fcrb\u0259c\u00fcr hissl\u0259r eyni anda m\u00f6vcuddur: sevgi v\u0259 dostluq, nifr\u0259t v\u0259 r\u0259\u011fb\u0259t. Biri \u00e7ox, o biri az ola bil\u0259r. Biri o birini \u00fcst\u0259l\u0259y\u0259 bil\u0259r. V\u0259ssalam.\u201d. O, qeyri-iradi \u00fczb\u0259\u00fczd\u0259ki adama baxd\u0131 v\u0259 n\u0259z\u0259rl\u0259r yen\u0259 d\u0259 toqqu\u015fdu. Bu d\u0259f\u0259 qad\u0131n g\u00f6zl\u0259rini \u00e7\u0259km\u0259d\u0259n \u015f\u0259stl\u0259 baxd\u0131. Gizl\u0259y\u0259c\u0259k bir \u015fey olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, \u201ch\u0259ms\u00f6hb\u0259ti\u201d qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda aln\u0131a\u00e7\u0131q-\u00fcz\u00fca\u011f oldu\u011funu g\u00f6st\u0259rm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn uzun kiprikl\u0259rini q\u0131rpmadan ayd\u0131n bax\u0131\u015flarla baxd\u0131. Ona el\u0259 g\u0259ldi ki, \u201ch\u0259ms\u00f6hb\u0259ti\u201d \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc itirdi v\u0259 bu d\u0259f\u0259 o, n\u0259z\u0259rl\u0259rini qa\u00e7\u0131r\u0131b p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n o yana y\u00f6n\u0259ltdi.<\/p>\n
\u201cM\u0259n bu adamdan n\u0259 ist\u0259yir\u0259m? Niy\u0259 qoymuram ki, rahat oturub yolunu getsin?\u201d Qad\u0131n bir daha bu adam haqq\u0131nda d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259m\u0259k q\u0259rar\u0131na g\u0259ldi, amma bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259qiq\u0259d\u0259n sonra yenid\u0259n onu m\u00fczakir\u0259 etm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131: \u201cAyd\u0131n m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259dir ki, ail\u0259lidir. Ab\u0131rl\u0131 adamd\u0131r, \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc \u00e7evirm\u0259kl\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 d\u0259rs verdi, y\u0259ni qad\u0131n xeyla\u011f\u0131na yara\u015fmaz bel\u0259 h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259t\u201d. O, p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n baxmaqdan yorulub ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 sald\u0131. \u00c7antas\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131b telefonunu \u00e7\u0131xard\u0131, ba\u011fl\u0131 olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131na \u0259min olduqdan sonra yerin\u0259 qoydu. N\u0259z\u0259rl\u0259rini qald\u0131r\u0131b h\u0259ms\u00f6hb\u0259tin\u0259 baxmaqdan \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc saxlay\u0131rd\u0131. Onu g\u00fclm\u0259k tutdu: \u201cQ\u0259rib\u0259dir, g\u00f6r\u0259s\u0259n fikrim niy\u0259 onun yan\u0131nda qal\u0131b? Deyirl\u0259r insanlar\u0131 g\u00f6z\u0259g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u0259z tell\u0259r bir-birin\u0259 ba\u011flay\u0131r, yoxsa biz d\u0259 bel\u0259c\u0259 bir-birimiz\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131y\u0131q, auralar\u0131m\u0131z bir-birini c\u0259lb edir? \u018fmin\u0259m ki, o, indi m\u0259n\u0259 bax\u0131r. Yoxlayaq!\u201d Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 qald\u0131ran kimi s\u0259hv etm\u0259diyi ayd\u0131n oldu. Bu d\u0259f\u0259 qad\u0131n ona zill\u0259n\u0259n bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131n ayd\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan, s\u0259mimiyy\u0259tind\u0259n sars\u0131ld\u0131. Sanki k\u00f6hn\u0259 bir tan\u0131\u015f\u0131 v\u0259 ya yax\u0131n b\u0131r dostu ondan sor\u011fu sormu\u015fdu v\u0259 cavab g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdi. Ona el\u0259 g\u0259ldi ki, adam n\u0259yis\u0259 t\u0259sdiq edirmi\u015f kimi, ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 t\u0259rp\u0259tdi. Sonra aya\u011fa qalx\u0131b kims\u0259y\u0259 toxunmama\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015faraq qap\u0131ya t\u0259r\u0259f y\u00f6n\u0259ldi. Q\u0259fl\u0259t\u0259n geri \u00e7evrilib intizarla ona baxan qad\u0131na xo\u015f s\u0259sl\u0259: \u201cD\u00fc\u015f\u0259rsiniz\u201d, – dedi. Qad\u0131n sanki bunu g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdi. Dinm\u0259zc\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 t\u0259rp\u0259dib t\u0259\u015f\u0259kk\u00fcr etdi. Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7evirib p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n baxanda \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259 xo\u015fb\u0259xt bir ifad\u0259 vard\u0131. \u0130nsan\u0131 bir anl\u0131q xo\u015fb\u0259xt etm\u0259k n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r asan imi\u015f v\u0259 n\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn insanlar tez-tez bunu el\u0259mirl\u0259r?<\/p>\n
S\u0259h\u0259r idi. \u015e\u0259h\u0259r yuxudan oyanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u0130\u015f\u0259 t\u0259l\u0259s\u0259nl\u0259rl\u0259 dolu avtobus l\u0259ng\u0259r vuraraq \u015f\u0259h\u0259rin k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259ri il\u0259 h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259t edirdi.<\/p>\n
P\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259nin yan\u0131nda, arxa t\u0259r\u0259f\u0259 baxan oturacaqlardan birind\u0259 a\u011fl\u0131-qaral\u0131 sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 arxaya daram\u0131\u015f orta ya\u015fl\u0131 bir ki\u015fi \u0259yl\u0259\u015fmi\u015fdi. Dizinin \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 qoydu\u011fu portfel, \u0259ynind\u0259ki boz kostyum v\u0259 qalstuk ona \u00e7ox ciddi g\u00f6rk\u0259m verirdi. N\u00f6vb\u0259ti dayanacaqdan sonra o, avtobusun salonunu n\u0259z\u0259rdan ke\u00e7irib ayaq \u00fcst\u0259 qalanlar\u0131n aras\u0131nda ya\u015fl\u0131 adam v\u0259 ya u\u015faq olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 y\u0259qin ed\u0259nd\u0259n sonra \u00fczb\u0259\u00fczd\u0259 oturmu\u015f, bayaqdan b\u0259ri diqq\u0259tini c\u0259lb ed\u0259n qad\u0131na baxd\u0131. Qad\u0131n ona tan\u0131\u015f g\u0259lirdi. El\u0259 bil onu n\u0259 vaxtsa, haradasa g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Amma harada – yad\u0131na sala bilm\u0259y\u0259r\u0259k d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc: \u201cB\u0259lk\u0259 bizim idar\u0259d\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259yir? B\u00f6y\u00fck kollektivdir, t\u0259z\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259n, ged\u0259n – ham\u0131n\u0131 yadda saxlamaq olmur. Amma yox, el\u0259 olsa, o da m\u0259ni tan\u0131yard\u0131. H\u0259r halda ba\u015f m\u00fch\u0259ndisi ham\u0131 tan\u0131y\u0131r. B\u0259lk\u0259 qohumda-qon\u015fuda g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m? N\u0259 bilim, ola bil\u0259r. G\u00f6z\u0259l qad\u0131nd\u0131r, \u00e7ox g\u00f6z\u0259ldir. S\u0259sini e\u015fits\u0259m, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 yad\u0131ma d\u00fc\u015f\u0259rdi\u201d. O, p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n \u00e7\u00f6l\u0259 baxd\u0131. Arabir g\u00fccl\u0259n\u0259r\u0259k \u0259sib-co\u015fan k\u00fcl\u0259k a\u011faclar\u0131n budaqlar\u0131n\u0131 t\u0259rp\u0259dir, yarpaqlar\u0131 qopar\u0131b amans\u0131zcas\u0131na ora-bura \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131rd\u0131. \u201cYox, bel\u0259 olmaz, kreditl\u0259 y\u00fcng\u00fclvari bir ma\u015f\u0131n g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u0259k laz\u0131md\u0131r. Bu m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259ni daha uzatmay\u0131m. Havalar soyuyur, gedib-g\u0259lm\u0259k \u00e7\u0259tinl\u0259\u015fir. He\u00e7 olmasa u\u015faqlar\u0131 s\u0259h\u0259r d\u0259rs\u0259 apararam, Sevinc\u0259 d\u0259 k\u00f6m\u0259k olar\u201d. Salona yay\u0131lan musiqi s\u0259dalar\u0131 onu fikirl\u0259rind\u0259n ay\u0131rd\u0131. Qulaq asma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131. \u018fvv\u0259ll\u0259r d\u0259 bu mahn\u0131n\u0131 e\u015fitmi\u015fdi, amma s\u00f6zl\u0259rin\u0259 indi fikir verirdi: \u201cKe\u00e7\u0259n g\u00fcnl\u0259rimi qaytarayd\u0131lar, g\u0259l\u0259n g\u00fcnl\u0259rimi qurban ver\u0259rdim!…\u201d \u201cYax\u015f\u0131 oxuyur. G\u00f6r\u0259s\u0259n ke\u00e7\u0259n g\u00fcnl\u0259ri qaytarmaq olarm\u0131?\u201d<\/p>\n
Yen\u0259 \u00fczb\u0259\u00fczd\u0259 oturmu\u015f qad\u0131na baxd\u0131: \u201cG\u00f6z\u0259l qad\u0131nd\u0131r. Han\u0131 m\u0259nim cavanl\u0131\u011f\u0131m? Yadda\u015f\u0131m da korlan\u0131b, \u0259vv\u0259ll\u0259r bir d\u0259f\u0259 g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcm adam\u0131 he\u00e7 vaxt yaddan \u00e7\u0131xarmazd\u0131m\u201d. S\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fc q\u0259fl\u0259t\u0259n s\u00fcr\u0259ti azaltd\u0131. \u00dczb\u0259\u00fczd\u0259ki qad\u0131n da \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc saxlaya bilm\u0259yib oturdu\u011fu yerd\u0259n qaba\u011fa s\u00fcr\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc v\u0259 onun \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 y\u0131x\u0131lmamaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u0259lini dizi \u00fcst\u0259 qoydu\u011fu portfel\u0259 dir\u0259di. Qad\u0131n \u00e7ox p\u0259rt oldu, n\u0259z\u0259rl\u0259rini qald\u0131rmadan yava\u015f s\u0259sl\u0259: \u201c\u00dczr ist\u0259yir\u0259m\u201d, – dedi. Bir-birinin \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 y\u0131x\u0131lan s\u0259rni\u015finl\u0259r: \u201cBel\u0259 d\u0259 ma\u015f\u0131n s\u00fcr\u0259rl\u0259r?!\u201d- dey\u0259 naraz\u0131l\u0131qlar\u0131n\u0131 bildirdil\u0259r. O, \u0259lini uzad\u0131b qad\u0131na k\u00f6m\u0259k el\u0259m\u0259k ist\u0259di, amma onun \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc d\u00fcz\u0259ld\u0259r\u0259k tezc\u0259 geriy\u0259,\u00a0 yerin\u0259 oturdu\u011funu g\u00f6r\u00fcb \u0259lini geri \u00e7\u0259kdi. \u201c\u00c7ox m\u0259lah\u0259tli s\u0259si var, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 yara\u015f\u0131r. Qad\u0131nlar h\u0259r ya\u015fda g\u00f6z\u0259l olurlar\u201d. Qad\u0131n\u0131n m\u00fct\u0259nasib b\u0259d\u0259nin\u0259, \u00e7antas\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 qoydu\u011fu inc\u0259 \u0259ll\u0259rin\u0259, a\u00e7\u0131q dizl\u0259rin\u0259 baxd\u0131. \u00c7oxdand\u0131 qad\u0131nlara fikir vermirdi. Ya\u015f \u00f6td\u00fckc\u0259 h\u0259r \u015fey onun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn adil\u0259\u015fir, \u00f6z \u0259h\u0259miyy\u0259tini itirirdi. G\u00f6z\u0259l q\u0131zlar\u0131n arxas\u0131nca baxd\u0131\u011f\u0131 vaxtlar art\u0131q ke\u00e7mi\u015fd\u0259 qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u0130ndi o, daha \u00e7ox ail\u0259sini, u\u015faqlar\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr, o\u011flunun q\u0131z sevdiyini bil\u0259nd\u0259n sonra is\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc lap a\u011f\u0131rtaxtal\u0131 ata, qay\u0131nata kimi hiss edirdi. \u0130ndi bird\u0259n-bir\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda oturmu\u015f bu qad\u0131na niy\u0259 bel\u0259 maraq g\u00f6st\u0259rdiyin\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259ndi. \u00dcr\u0259yinin d\u0259rinlikl\u0259rind\u0259 gizl\u0259nmi\u015f hans\u0131sa bir duy\u011fu ondan x\u0259b\u0259rsiz yava\u015f-yava\u015f ba\u015f qald\u0131rma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131.<\/p>\n
Yolun k\u0259nar\u0131nda in\u015fa edilmi\u015f t\u0259z\u0259 bina diqq\u0259tini c\u0259lb etdi. \u201cBunu n\u0259 vaxt tikib qurtard\u0131lar? Bu \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259 binalar lap g\u00f6b\u0259l\u0259k kimi bitir. Maraql\u0131s\u0131 odur ki, evl\u0259rin say\u0131 artd\u0131qca qiym\u0259ti he\u00e7 ucuzla\u015fm\u0131r\u201d. Ne\u00e7\u0259 vaxtd\u0131r ki, o\u011fluna ev alma\u011f\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc, buna g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 t\u0259z\u0259 tikil\u0259n evl\u0259rin keyfiyy\u0259ti, qiym\u0259ti, kredit \u015f\u0259rtl\u0259ri il\u0259 maraqlan\u0131rd\u0131. O\u011flunun ya\u015f\u0131 h\u0259l\u0259 az olsa da, arvad\u0131 onu: \u201cVaxt \u00e7atana q\u0259d\u0259r krediti ancaq ver\u0259rik\u201d, – dey\u0259 t\u0259l\u0259sdirirdi. \u018fslind\u0259 o, arvad\u0131na haqq qazand\u0131r\u0131r, onu uzaqg\u00f6r\u0259n, a\u011f\u0131ll\u0131 v\u0259 t\u0259dbirli hesab edirdi.<\/p>\n
Sevinc do\u011frudan da, yax\u015f\u0131 ana v\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131 idi. Ail\u0259nin y\u00fck\u00fcn\u00fc \u00e7iyinl\u0259rind\u0259 b\u0259rab\u0259r da\u015f\u0131y\u0131rd\u0131lar. Analar\u0131 u\u015faqlar\u0131n yan\u0131nda atan\u0131n n\u00fcfuzuna x\u0259l\u0259l g\u0259lm\u0259sin\u0259 q\u0259tiyy\u0259n imkan vermirdi: \u201cAtan\u0131n s\u00f6z\u00fc qanundur!\u201d B\u0259z\u0259n arvad\u0131 il\u0259 raz\u0131la\u015fmasa da, onun problemi h\u0259ll etm\u0259k \u00fcsullar\u0131n\u0131 q\u0259bul etm\u0259s\u0259 d\u0259, Sevinc he\u00e7 vaxt onun ki\u015fi q\u00fcrurunu q\u0131rmaz, bununla bel\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259ri ustal\u0131qla el\u0259 d\u00fcz\u00fcb-qo\u015fard\u0131 ki, h\u0259r \u015fey \u00f6z ist\u0259diyi kimi olsun. Bu \u00fczd\u0259n m\u00fcbahis\u0259l\u0259ri uzun \u00e7\u0259km\u0259zdi v\u0259 o, \u00fcmumiyy\u0259tl\u0259, ail\u0259sind\u0259n m\u0259mnun idi…<\/p>\n
Bird\u0259n qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda oturmu\u015f qad\u0131n\u0131n n\u0259s\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u0259r\u0259k g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259diyini sezdi. T\u0259sad\u00fcf\u0259n n\u0259z\u0259rl\u0259ri toqqu\u015fdu. Qad\u0131n n\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259 utan\u0131b s\u0131x\u0131ld\u0131 \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc yana – p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259y\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f \u00e7evirdi. \u201cDey\u0259s\u0259n onu narahat el\u0259yir\u0259m\u201d – dey\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc, – \u201cQad\u0131nlar utan\u0131b-s\u0131x\u0131landa daha cazib\u0259li olduqlar\u0131n\u0131 bilirl\u0259rmi, g\u00f6r\u0259s\u0259n? Ki\u015fil\u0259r bel\u0259 qad\u0131nlar\u0131n yan\u0131nda \u00f6zl\u0259rini daha g\u00fccl\u00fc, daha s\u0259rb\u0259st hiss edirl\u0259r\u201d. Qad\u0131n\u0131n yanaqlar\u0131na \u00e7\u00f6k\u0259n x\u0259fif q\u0131zart\u0131dan \u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259 ba\u015f qaldirm\u0131\u015f inc\u0259 duy\u011fu yava\u015f-yava\u015f g\u00fccl\u0259n\u0259r\u0259k \u00fcr\u0259yin\u0259, beynin\u0259 hakim k\u0259sildi. X\u0259yallar onu uzaq ke\u00e7mi\u015f\u0259 – t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259lik ill\u0259rin\u0259 apard\u0131…<\/p>\n
O, Texniki Universitetin d\u00f6rd\u00fcnc\u00fc kursunda oxuyurdu. Yara\u015f\u0131ql\u0131 o\u011flan olmaqla b\u0259rab\u0259r a\u011fl\u0131na, z\u0259kas\u0131na g\u00f6r\u0259 q\u0131zlar\u0131n diqq\u0259tini \u00e7\u0259kir, n\u0259zak\u0259tli davran\u0131\u015f\u0131 il\u0259 ham\u0131n\u0131n xo\u015funa g\u0259lirdi. Universitetd\u0259n ev\u0259 h\u0259r g\u00fcn metro il\u0259 gedirdi. Bir g\u00fcn d\u0259rsd\u0259n sonra yen\u0259 metroya d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb qatara \u0259yl\u0259\u015fdi. Universitetd\u0259 yar\u0131m saat l\u0259ngidiyind\u0259n metroda adamlar\u0131n seyr\u0259k vaxt\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc.<\/p>\n
\u00dczb\u0259\u00fczd\u0259 q\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 paltolu bir q\u0131z oturmu\u015f, dizi \u00fcst\u0259 qoydu\u011fu ki\u00e7ik \u00e7antas\u0131n\u0131 iki \u0259li il\u0259 s\u0131x\u0131b tutmu\u015fdu. Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 sald\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan gur qara sa\u00e7lar\u0131 z\u0259rif \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 t\u00f6k\u00fclm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. G\u00f6zl\u0259rini a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 dik\u0259r\u0259k he\u00e7 kim\u0259 baxmasa da, qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda oturmu\u015f cavan o\u011flan\u0131n g\u00f6zl\u0259rini ona zill\u0259diyini hiss etdiyind\u0259n x\u0259fifc\u0259 q\u0131zarm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. O\u011flan is\u0259 n\u0259z\u0259rl\u0259rini ondan \u00e7\u0259kmir, onun utan\u0131b-q\u0131zarmas\u0131ndan daha da xo\u015flan\u0131rd\u0131. B\u00fct\u00fcn yolu bel\u0259c\u0259 getdil\u0259r, q\u0131z bir d\u0259f\u0259 d\u0259 olsun g\u00f6zl\u0259rini qald\u0131r\u0131b ona baxmad\u0131. He\u00e7 n\u0259d\u0259n \u00e7\u0259kinm\u0259y\u0259r\u0259k universitetd\u0259 tez-tez ona yax\u0131nla\u015fan, deyib-g\u00fcl\u0259n, ondan xo\u015flar\u0131 g\u0259ldiyini gizl\u0259tm\u0259y\u0259n, b\u0259z\u0259n bir-birin\u0259 r\u0259qib kimi atmacalar atan q\u0131zlara q\u0259tiyy\u0259n b\u0259nz\u0259m\u0259y\u0259n bu q\u0131z \u00e7ox xo\u015funa g\u0259lmi\u015fdi.<\/p>\n
Bundan sonra o, h\u0259r g\u00fcn metronun giri\u015find\u0259 h\u0259min q\u0131z\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdi. Onun ard\u0131nca yollan\u0131r, b\u00fct\u00fcn yolu bir d\u0259qiq\u0259 olsun onu g\u00f6zd\u0259n qoymurdu. Bu anlarda \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc son d\u0259r\u0259c\u0259 xo\u015fb\u0259xt hiss edirdi. Ona el\u0259 g\u0259lirdi ki, b\u00fct\u00fcn \u00f6mr\u00fcn\u00fc bel\u0259c\u0259 ke\u00e7ir\u0259 bil\u0259r, he\u00e7 n\u0259yi d\u0259yi\u015fm\u0259d\u0259n, he\u00e7 n\u0259 el\u0259m\u0259d\u0259n. \u00dcr\u0259yi b\u0259z\u0259n b\u0259rk-b\u0259rk d\u00f6y\u00fcn\u00fcr, sanki sin\u0259sind\u0259n qopub \u00e7\u0131xmaq ist\u0259yirdi. Sonra sakitl\u0259\u015fir, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc olduqca g\u00f6z\u0259l, qeyri-adi bir duy\u011funun ixtiyar\u0131na verirdi. Bu anlarda onun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn h\u0259r \u015fey g\u00f6z\u0259l idi – h\u0259yat da, insanlar da.<\/p>\n
Bel\u0259likl\u0259,\u00a0 \u00fc\u00e7 ay ke\u00e7di. Bu m\u00fcdd\u0259t \u0259rzind\u0259 q\u0131z c\u0259mi bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 qald\u0131r\u0131b ona baxm\u0131\u015f, bir d\u0259f\u0259 n\u0259s\u0259 dem\u0259k ist\u0259mi\u015f, amma fikrind\u0259n d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Q\u0131\u015f sessiyas\u0131ndan sonra yen\u0259 h\u0259r \u015fey \u0259vv\u0259lki qayda il\u0259 davam edirdi. O art\u0131q q\u0131za yax\u0131nla\u015fmaq haqq\u0131nda d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flam\u0131\u015fd\u0131, amma n\u0259 dey\u0259c\u0259yini h\u0259l\u0259 bilmirdi. Ad\u0259t\u0259n q\u0131zlar \u00f6zl\u0259ri ona yax\u0131nla\u015f\u0131r, s\u00f6hb\u0259t\u0259 ba\u015flay\u0131rd\u0131lar. Birinci dan\u0131\u015fmaq v\u0259 ya buna c\u0259hd g\u00f6st\u0259rm\u0259k ona \u00e7\u0259tin g\u0259lir, n\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc \u0259ziyy\u0259t\u0259 salmaq ist\u0259mirdi. X\u0259yallar\u0131nda qurdu\u011fu d\u00fcnyada o, bu q\u0131zla \u00e7oxdan tan\u0131\u015f olmu\u015f, h\u0259tta sevi\u015fmi\u015fdi d\u0259.\u00a0 Amma real h\u0259yatda h\u0259r \u015fey ba\u015fqa c\u00fcr idi.<\/p>\n
G\u00fcnl\u0259rin birind\u0259 o, saatlarla g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259li oldu, amma q\u0131z g\u0259lm\u0259di. Sonrak\u0131 g\u00fcnl\u0259rd\u0259 q\u0131z yen\u0259 g\u00f6runm\u0259di. O, \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259-s\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259 deyildi, n\u0259 ed\u0259c\u0259yini bilmirdi. \u0130ndiy\u0259 kimi q\u0131za yax\u0131nla\u015fmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn, he\u00e7 ad\u0131n\u0131 da, telefonunu da \u00f6yr\u0259nm\u0259diyi \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc d\u00f6n\u0259-d\u00f6n\u0259 danlay\u0131rd\u0131, q\u0259tiyy\u0259tsizliyin\u0259 v\u0259 f\u0259rsizliyin\u0259 \u0259s\u0259bil\u0259\u015firdi. Amma art\u0131q gec idi, \u201cDaldan at\u0131lan da\u015f topu\u011fa d\u0259y\u0259r\u201d – deyirl\u0259r. H\u0259r g\u00fcn saatlarla metronun qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda \u0259b\u0259s yer\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259di. Bir m\u00fcdd\u0259t \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259-s\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259 olmad\u0131, h\u0259yat onun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn m\u0259nas\u0131zla\u015fd\u0131. H\u0259min semestri g\u00fccl\u0259 ba\u015fa vurdu. \u0130mtahanlar\u0131n ikisind\u0259n\u00a0 k\u0259sildi. O utancaq, z\u0259rif q\u0131z\u0131n x\u0259yal\u0131n\u0131 uzun m\u00fcdd\u0259t beynind\u0259n sil\u0259 bilm\u0259di…<\/p>\n
Sonralar \u00e7ox q\u0131zlarla tan\u0131\u015f olub g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. H\u0259r d\u0259f\u0259 ehtiraslar co\u015fur, q\u0131z\u0131\u015f\u0131r, k\u00f6z\u0259rir, amma alovlanm\u0131rd\u0131. Olub ke\u00e7\u0259nl\u0259r tez yaddan \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r, dumanlar seyr\u0259lir v\u0259 x\u0259yal\u0131nda yen\u0259 o utancaq q\u0131z peyda olurdu. Sonra Sevinc\u0259 rast g\u0259ldi. Onun prinsipial xarakteri, q\u0259rarl\u0131, t\u0259kidli olmas\u0131n\u0131n s\u0259b\u0259bin\u0259 evl\u0259ndil\u0259r.<\/p>\n
B\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar\u0131 n\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn yad\u0131na sald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlam\u0131rd\u0131. Ah, bu qad\u0131n! O xat\u0131rlatm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 \u00f6t\u00fcb ke\u00e7\u0259nl\u0259ri! Onun oturu\u015fu, bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131, gur sa\u00e7lar\u0131, \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259ki x\u0259fif q\u0131zart\u0131 n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r tan\u0131\u015f g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc! Dem\u0259k bu q\u0259d\u0259r zaman ke\u00e7s\u0259 d\u0259, he\u00e7 n\u0259 unudulmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131, \u015f\u00fcuralt\u0131 qalaraq \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc b\u00fcruz\u0259 verm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn f\u00fcrs\u0259t g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdi.<\/p>\n
Yen\u0259 n\u0259z\u0259rl\u0259ri toqqu\u015fdu. Bu d\u0259f\u0259 qad\u0131n g\u00f6zl\u0259rini \u00e7\u0259km\u0259d\u0259n \u015f\u0259stl\u0259 baxd\u0131. Uzun kirpikl\u0259rini q\u0131rpmadan ayd\u0131n bax\u0131\u015flarla bax\u0131rd\u0131. \u00dczb\u0259\u00fczd\u0259 oturan adam bu bax\u0131\u015flara davam g\u0259tirm\u0259y\u0259r\u0259k \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc yana \u00e7evirdi. \u201cBu xan\u0131m\u0131 \u0259m\u0259lli-ba\u015fl\u0131 \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259y\u0259 salm\u0131\u015fam, yoxsa niy\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 bel\u0259 baxs\u0131n ki? Amma onunla dan\u0131\u015fmaq, tan\u0131\u015f olmaq m\u00fcmk\u00fcn olsayd\u0131…\u201d. Bir m\u00fcdd\u0259t o, ba\u015fqa he\u00e7 bir \u015fey d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u0259 bilm\u0259di: \u201cBu qad\u0131nla tan\u0131\u015f olmaq! Bunu nec\u0259 el\u0259m\u0259k olar? Ona nec\u0259 m\u00fcraci\u0259t edim?\u201d Az sonra \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 ac\u0131\u011f\u0131 tutdu: \u201dGetdikc\u0259 a\u011fl\u0131m azal\u0131r. Ya\u015f\u0131m\u0131, m\u00f6vqeyimi n\u0259z\u0259r\u0259 almal\u0131yam ax\u0131. Tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131m qad\u0131nla n\u0259 i\u015fim var? K\u0259skin bir s\u00f6z dey\u0259r, biab\u0131r olaram. Birc\u0259 bu qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 ki, \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc g\u00fcl\u00fcnc v\u0259ziyy\u0259td\u0259 qoyum\u201d. Amma a\u011fl\u0131 bel\u0259 des\u0259 d\u0259, hissl\u0259ri ba\u015fqa \u015fey deyirdi. \u201cB\u0259lk\u0259 el\u0259 h\u0259min q\u0131zd\u0131r, ya\u015flan\u0131b, d\u0259yi\u015fib? Bu bar\u0259d\u0259 soru\u015fsam, nec\u0259 olar?\u201d Bir q\u0259d\u0259r d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcb t\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcfl\u0259 k\u00f6ks\u00fcn\u00fc \u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc: \u201cN\u0259yi soru\u015fum? Soru\u015fmal\u0131 bir \u015fey yoxdur\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u0130nsan h\u0259r an\u0131 birc\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 ya\u015fay\u0131r, h\u0259r an\u0131n \u00f6z h\u00f6km\u00fc var. Zaman\u0131 geri qaytarmaq, olub-ke\u00e7\u0259nl\u0259ri d\u0259yi\u015fm\u0259k m\u00fcmk\u00fcn deyil. \u0130nsan ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 anlar\u0131n m\u0259suliyy\u0259tini hiss el\u0259mir, bu anlar\u0131n h\u0259r birind\u0259 n\u0259yis\u0259 d\u0259yi\u015fm\u0259yin m\u00fcmk\u00fcn oldu\u011funun f\u0259rqin\u0259 varm\u0131r. Ka\u015f o zaman k\u0259nardan baxmaqla kifay\u0259tl\u0259nm\u0259y\u0259ydi, yax\u0131nla\u015f\u0131b dan\u0131\u015fayd\u0131, bir s\u00f6z dey\u0259ydi, x\u0259yallar\u0131n\u0131 h\u0259qiq\u0259t\u0259 \u00e7evir\u0259ydi. Lap r\u0259dd edil\u0259c\u0259k olsa da, ka\u015f bunu el\u0259y\u0259yd\u0131. Sonra arzular\u0131 \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 qar\u0131\u015f\u0131b \u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259 qalmazd\u0131. Sonrak\u0131 pe\u015fiman\u00e7\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6mr\u00fc boyu \u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259 da\u015f\u0131mazd\u0131.<\/p>\n
N\u00f6vb\u0259ti dayanacaqda d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259li idi. \u00dcr\u0259yini gizild\u0259d\u0259n, \u015f\u00fcurunun d\u0259rin qatlar\u0131 alt\u0131nda yat\u0131b qalm\u0131\u015f, unudulmu\u015f h\u0259yat s\u0259hif\u0259sini yad\u0131na salan bu qad\u0131na son d\u0259f\u0259 baxd\u0131. \u201dSa\u011f olun, xan\u0131m \u0259f\u0259ndi! Sizinl\u0259 \u00fczb\u0259\u00fcz oturdu\u011fum bu anlar h\u0259yat\u0131m\u0131n \u00e7ox qiym\u0259tli anlar\u0131ndan say\u0131la bil\u0259r. T\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcf ki, sizin \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcz\u0259 bunu dey\u0259 bilmir\u0259m. T\u0259\u015f\u0259kk\u00fcr edir\u0259m!\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Az\u0259rbaycan.media<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" S\u0259h\u0259r idi. \u015e\u0259h\u0259r yuxudan oyanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u0130\u015f\u0259 t\u0259l\u0259s\u0259nl\u0259rl\u0259 dolu avtobus l\u0259ng\u0259r vuraraq \u015f\u0259h\u0259rin k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259ri il\u0259 h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259t edirdi. P\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259nin yan\u0131ndak\u0131 oturacaqlardan birind\u0259 \u015f\u0131q geyimli g\u00f6z\u0259l bir qad\u0131n oturmu\u015fdu. O, ki\u00e7ik qara \u00e7antas\u0131n\u0131… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":54505,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[63,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-54504","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dbiyyat","category-manset"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/azerbaycan.media\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54504","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/azerbaycan.media\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/azerbaycan.media\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/azerbaycan.media\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/azerbaycan.media\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=54504"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/azerbaycan.media\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54504\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":54507,"href":"https:\/\/azerbaycan.media\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54504\/revisions\/54507"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/azerbaycan.media\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/54505"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/azerbaycan.media\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=54504"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/azerbaycan.media\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=54504"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/azerbaycan.media\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=54504"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}