26 sentyabr<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n N\u0259f\u0259simi saxlam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m.\u00a0 Bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131m yarpa\u011f\u0131n \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259 d\u00f6vr\u0259 vuran k\u0259p\u0259n\u0259y\u0259 zill\u0259nmi\u015fdi. H\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tsiz dayan\u0131b onu izl\u0259yirdim. N\u0259hay\u0259t, \u00fcrk\u0259k h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tl\u0259rl\u0259 astaca yarpa\u011f\u0131n \u00fcz\u0259rin\u0259 qondu…<\/p>\n D\u00fcym\u0259ni basd\u0131m… Sonra d\u0259rind\u0259n \u201coh\u201d \u00e7\u0259kib aya\u011fa qalxd\u0131m. Dizl\u0259rimin tozunu \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131b ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 qald\u0131rd\u0131m. T\u0259rlan m\u0259nd\u0259n on – on be\u015f add\u0131m aral\u0131da, torpa\u011f\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 uzanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u018fll\u0259rini \u00e7arpazla\u015fd\u0131r\u0131b ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131na qoymu\u015fdu. G\u00f6zl\u0259ri yumulu idi. G\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259yirdi…<\/p>\n Yan\u0131nda \u0259yl\u0259\u015fdim. \u00c7\u0259kdiyim \u015f\u0259kli g\u00f6st\u0259rm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdim, ancaq x\u00fclyadan onu ay\u0131rmad\u0131m. Az sonra \u00f6z\u00fc dill\u0259ndi:<\/p>\n \u2012 \u00c7\u0259k\u0259 bildin?<\/p>\n \u2012 \u018flb\u0259tt\u0259! \u2013 A\u00e7\u0131b \u015f\u0259kli b\u0259h-b\u0259hl\u0259 g\u00f6st\u0259rdim.<\/p>\n Pay\u0131z h\u0259l\u0259 girm\u0259mi\u015fdi. Hava t\u0259miz, sakit v\u0259 k\u00fcl\u0259ksiz idi. H\u0259rd\u0259n bir uzaqdan qu\u015flar\u0131n s\u0259si e\u015fidilirdi. G\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc s\u0259maya zill\u0259dim.\u00a0 S\u0131x v\u0259 uzun a\u011faclardan qu\u015flar\u0131 g\u00f6rm\u0259k olmurdu. Ara-s\u0131ra a\u011faclar\u0131n budaqlar\u0131 aras\u0131ndan yerini d\u0259yi\u015f\u0259n g\u00fcn\u0259\u015f \u015f\u00fcalar\u0131 g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc ya\u015fard\u0131rd\u0131. \u018flimi onlara t\u0259r\u0259f uzad\u0131b ovcumla qaba\u011f\u0131n\u0131 al\u0131rd\u0131m.<\/p>\n \u2012 Hava qaral\u0131r. Qay\u0131daq…<\/p>\n H\u0259ft\u0259sonu Bak\u0131n\u0131n s\u0259s k\u00fcy\u00fcnd\u0259n uzaqla\u015fmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn ki\u00e7ik bir d\u0259st\u0259 il\u0259 iki g\u00fcnl\u00fck t\u0259bi\u0259t\u0259 \u00fcz tutmu\u015fduq. \u0130smay\u0131ll\u0131da, me\u015f\u0259nin k\u0259nar\u0131nda\u00a0 bir evd\u0259 qal\u0131rd\u0131q. S\u0259h\u0259r tezd\u0259n yast\u0131qlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb evin arxas\u0131na – me\u015f\u0259nin d\u0259rinlikl\u0259rin\u0259 gedir, saatlarla s\u0259ssizliy\u0259 qulaq as\u0131rd\u0131q. Dey\u0259s\u0259n, pandemiyadan s\u0131x\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z bu \u00e7\u0259tin v\u0259 ke\u015fm\u0259ke\u015fli aylardan sonra ham\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n istirah\u0259t\u0259 ehtiyac\u0131 vard\u0131…<\/p>\n \u2012 X\u0259st\u0259 say\u0131 da \u00e7ox azal\u0131b. Dey\u0259s\u0259n \u00e7\u0259tin g\u00fcnl\u0259r gerid\u0259 qald\u0131, \u2013 g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259dim. Kefim k\u00f6k idi.<\/p>\n \u2012 Dey\u0259s\u0259n. Ayg\u00fcn\u00fcn yan\u0131na ged\u0259rik q\u0131\u015fda. Avropaya tur ataq.<\/p>\n \u2012 M\u00fctl\u0259q. H\u0259tta b\u0259lk\u0259 oralara k\u00f6\u00e7\u0259rik… D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr\u0259m bu haqda.<\/p>\n \u2012 M\u0259n he\u00e7\u00a0 hara k\u00f6\u00e7\u0259n deyil\u0259m. G\u0259zm\u0259y\u0259 q\u0259rib \u00f6lk\u0259, \u00f6lm\u0259y\u0259 v\u0259t\u0259n…<\/p>\n \u2012 B\u0259sdi s\u0259n Allah… \u2013 \u018flimd\u0259ki yast\u0131\u011f\u0131 ona t\u0259r\u0259f tullad\u0131m. T\u0259rlan \u0259yildi. Yast\u0131q onun \u00e7iynin\u0259 toxunaraq yer\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc.<\/p>\n … Bir yer\u0259 topla\u015f\u0131b ax\u015fam yem\u0259yin\u0259 oturduq. Ham\u0131 telefonun i\u00e7in\u0259 girmi\u015fdi.\u00a0 T\u0259rlan yen\u0259 stula s\u00f6yk\u0259nib, \u0259ll\u0259rini \u00e7arpazla\u015fd\u0131raraq ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131na qoymu\u015fdu. Ulduzlara bax\u0131rd\u0131…<\/p>\n \u2012 Deyir\u0259m, b\u0259lk\u0259 telefonlar\u0131 unudaq bir g\u00fcnl\u00fck? \u2013 dey\u0259 dill\u0259ndi.<\/p>\n \u2012 Raz\u0131yam. Sosial \u015f\u0259b\u0259k\u0259l\u0259r insanlar\u0131n canl\u0131 \u00fcnsiyy\u0259tin\u0259 g\u00fccl\u00fc ziyan vurur. \u2013 Musa\u00a0 telefonunu s\u00f6nd\u00fcr\u00fcb bir k\u0259nara qoydu.<\/p>\n N\u0259rmin kinay\u0259 il\u0259 ona baxd\u0131:<\/p>\n \u2012 El\u0259 bil b\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcn\u00fc twitterd\u0259 \u015f\u0259rh yazan bu deyil…<\/p>\n \u2012 M\u0259n ciddi m\u00f6vzular bar\u0259d\u0259 fikir bildirir\u0259m, v\u0259t\u0259n\u0259 xeyir verir\u0259m…<\/p>\n S\u00f6hb\u0259t uzand\u0131. Ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 sal\u0131b telefonda e\u015f\u0259l\u0259nm\u0259y\u0259 davam etdim. K\u0259p\u0259n\u0259yin \u015f\u0259klini a\u00e7d\u0131m. A\u011f\u0131ll\u0131 s\u00f6zl\u0259rl\u0259 \u015f\u0259kli b\u0259z\u0259m\u0259k ist\u0259yirdim. Ancaq a\u011fl\u0131ma he\u00e7 n\u0259 g\u0259lmirdi.<\/p>\n \u2012 T\u0259bi\u0259tin s\u0259si… \u2013 T\u0259rlan k\u00f6m\u0259y\u0259 g\u0259ldi.<\/p>\n \u2012\u00a0 \u201cH\u0259yat bir g\u00fcn, o da bu gun\u201d \u2013 Musa q\u0259h-q\u0259h\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kdi.<\/p>\n N\u0259rmin\u0259 baxd\u0131m. Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 yell\u0259di:<\/p>\n \u2012 \u00dcr\u0259yind\u0259n bir \u015fey ke\u00e7mirs\u0259, n\u0259s\u0259 yazma\u011fa m\u0259cbur deyils\u0259n…<\/p>\n Bir q\u0259d\u0259r d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fckd\u0259n sonra \u015f\u0259kli payla\u015f\u0131b sonuna: \u201cH\u00fczur\u201d art\u0131rd\u0131m… Bu gec\u0259 \u00e7ox h\u00fczurlu idi…<\/p>\n 27 sentyabr<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Saat on rad\u0259l\u0259ri idi. Gec oyanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Telefona baxd\u0131m, ekran bo\u015f idi… T\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259ndim. Telefonu \u0259lim\u0259 al\u0131b instaqram\u0131 a\u00e7d\u0131m. Dayanmadan f\u0131rlan\u0131rd\u0131. \u0130\u015fl\u0259mirdi… Geyinib otaqdan \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131m.<\/p>\n Eyvana boyland\u0131m. O\u011flanlar h\u0259y\u0259td\u0259 oturmu\u015fdular. \u0130kisi d\u0259 telefona bax\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n \u2012 Sizd\u0259 d\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259mir? \u2013 sual verdim.<\/p>\n T\u0259rlan ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 qald\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n \u2012 N\u0259l\u0259rs\u0259 ba\u015f verir…<\/p>\n \u2012 N\u0259 m\u0259nada? \u2013 t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259ndim.<\/p>\n \u2012 B\u00fct\u00fcn Az\u0259rbaycanda interneti k\u0259sibl\u0259r.<\/p>\n \u2012 Niy\u0259?<\/p>\n \u2012 M\u00fcharib\u0259 ba\u015flay\u0131b, deyirl\u0259r.<\/p>\n \u2012 \u0130yuldak\u0131 kimi?<\/p>\n \u2012 \u0130yulda interneti k\u0259sm\u0259mi\u015fdil\u0259r. Dem\u0259li, daha ciddi bir \u015fey var. \u2013 Musa s\u00f6hb\u0259t\u0259 qo\u015fuldu.<\/p>\n Susduq… Anlam\u0131rd\u0131m… \u201cN\u0259 m\u00fcharib\u0259? Hardan \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131? Niy\u0259 x\u0259b\u0259rimiz yoxdu? N\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r davam ed\u0259c\u0259k?…\u201d M\u0259tan\u0259tin bir-iki ay \u0259vv\u0259l s\u00f6hb\u0259t \u0259snas\u0131nda: \u201cM\u00fcharib\u0259 olacaq\u201d, – dem\u0259yi yad\u0131ma d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Atas\u0131 h\u0259rb\u00e7i idi. O zamanlar inanmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. H\u0259tta atamdan m\u00fcharib\u0259nin ba\u015flamas\u0131 haqq\u0131nda n\u0259s\u0259 x\u0259b\u0259r e\u015fidib-e\u015fitm\u0259diyini soru\u015fmu\u015fdum. Media i\u015f\u00e7isi oldu\u011fu \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn evd\u0259 b\u00fct\u00fcn siyasi x\u0259b\u0259rl\u0259ri ondan al\u0131rd\u0131q. Cavab\u0131nda \u201cM\u00fcharib\u0259 olsa idi, bu 30 ild\u0259 olard\u0131. Bundan sonra \u00e7\u0259tin… Getdi o torpaqlar…\u201d \u2013 \u00fcmidsiz halda demi\u015fdi…<\/p>\n Nigaranl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 g\u00f6r\u0259n T\u0259rlan yax\u0131nla\u015f\u0131b \u0259lini \u00e7iynim\u0259 qoydu.<\/p>\n \u2012 Narahat olma. N\u0259di bilmir\u0259m, amma b\u00f6y\u00fck ehtimal iki-\u00fc\u00e7 g\u00fcn\u0259 ara sakitl\u0259\u015f\u0259c\u0259k. H\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 bel\u0259 olub…<\/p>\n Bu zaman evin qap\u0131s\u0131ndan N\u0259rmin g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fc.<\/p>\n \u2012 Sizin d\u0259 internetiniz i\u015fl\u0259mir?…<\/p>\n … Yan\u0131ndan \u00f6t\u00fcb ke\u00e7diyimiz ma\u015f\u0131nlara bax\u0131rd\u0131m.\u00a0 Dan yeri q\u0131zarma\u011fa ba\u015flam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u015e\u00fc\u015f\u0259ni azca aralam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m, i\u00e7\u0259ri daxil olan k\u00fcl\u0259k aln\u0131m\u0131 k\u0259sirdi. Ma\u015f\u0131nda ham\u0131 susmu\u015fdu. Fikirli idik…\u00a0 Geri qay\u0131d\u0131rd\u0131q…<\/p>\n G\u00fcn \u0259rzind\u0259 d\u0259\u00a0 internetimiz i\u015fl\u0259m\u0259di. Tez-tez yoxlay\u0131r, bo\u015f ekrana zill\u0259nirdik. Ancaq he\u00e7 n\u0259 yox idi. Evd\u0259kil\u0259rl\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131q. \u201cV\u0259ziyy\u0259t qar\u0131\u015f\u0131qd\u0131, qay\u0131d\u0131n\u201d, – demi\u015fdil\u0259r. N\u0259 oldu\u011funu anlamadan, ordan-burdan ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z x\u0259b\u0259rl\u0259rl\u0259 geri \u2012 Bak\u0131ya yola d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fck. Yol boyu radio kanallar\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015firdik, x\u0131\u015f\u0131lt\u0131dan ba\u015fqa he\u00e7 n\u0259 e\u015fidilmirdi.\u00a0 X\u0259b\u0259rsiz qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131q… Telefonu yen\u0259 \u0259lim\u0259 ald\u0131m. \u0130nstaqram\u00a0 h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 f\u0131rlan\u0131rd\u0131…<\/p>\n 28 sentyabr<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n \u00d6lk\u0259d\u0259 h\u0259rbi v\u0259ziyy\u0259t elan olundu… Ax\u015fam 9-dan sonra k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xmaq olmazd\u0131… Arxas\u0131nca is\u0259 qism\u0259n s\u0259f\u0259rb\u0259rliyin olaca\u011f\u0131 bildirildi… Ba\u015f\u0131m f\u0131rland\u0131. Hiss etdim ki, \u0259ll\u0259rim \u0259sir. S\u0259f\u0259rb\u0259rlik olsun ist\u0259mirdim, m\u00fcharib\u0259 d\u0259 ist\u0259mirdim. G\u00fcl kimi oturmu\u015fduq ax\u0131…<\/p>\n … \u018fslind\u0259 biz 30 il\u00a0 idi ki, m\u00fcharib\u0259 \u015f\u0259raitind\u0259 ya\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131q. B\u00fct\u00fcn bu ill\u0259r \u0259rzind\u0259 s\u0259rh\u0259dyan\u0131 \u0259razil\u0259rimiz hey at\u0131\u015fmalara m\u0259ruz qal\u0131r, insanlar t\u0259hl\u00fck\u0259 alt\u0131nda ya\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131lar. D\u00fcnyan\u0131n ayr\u0131-ayr\u0131 yerl\u0259rind\u0259 siyasi-diplomatik dan\u0131\u015f\u0131qlar gedir, konfliktin dinc yolla h\u0259lli axtar\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 ucu biz\u0259 bilvasit\u0259 toxunmurdu dey\u0259 bu g\u0259rginliyi hiss etmirdik. B\u0259lk\u0259 paytaxt \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259, X\u0259z\u0259r d\u0259nizi sahilind\u0259, i\u015f\u0131ql\u0131 Bak\u0131 gec\u0259l\u0259rinin quca\u011f\u0131nda, isti yataqlar\u0131m\u0131zda bundan x\u0259b\u0259rsiz idik… \u0130ndi anid\u0259n bir z\u0259ng g\u0259lir v\u0259 s\u0259nin sevdiyin insanlar\u0131 \u00f6z\u00fc il\u0259 apar\u0131r…<\/p>\n Kontakt\u0131mda olan b\u00fct\u00fcn o\u011flanlara mesaj atma\u011fa ba\u015flam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Hardad\u0131lar, nec\u0259dil\u0259r dey\u0259 narahat qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. B\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcn\u00fc m\u00fcharib\u0259ni d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcm.\u00a0 Kim\u0259 yazsam \u201cH\u0259r \u015fey yax\u015f\u0131d\u0131\u201d, \u201c\u00c7a\u011f\u0131rsalar ged\u0259c\u0259yik d\u0259, n\u0259 var ki burda?\u201d tipli cavablar al\u0131rd\u0131m. Sanki o\u011flanlar\u0131n t\u00fck\u00fc d\u0259 t\u0259rp\u0259nmirdi. Q\u0131zlar is\u0259 \u0259ksin\u0259… Dayanmadan z\u0259ngl\u0259r g\u0259lir, narahat s\u0259sl\u0259r e\u015fidilirdi. M\u0259tan\u0259t is\u0259 dayanmadan: \u201cG\u00f6rd\u00fcn? M\u00fcharib\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131. Ham\u0131n\u0131 aparacaqlar\u201d, – deyirdi.\u00a0 O dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131qca h\u0259y\u0259can\u0131m lap art\u0131rd\u0131.\u00a0 H\u0259tta pis x\u0259b\u0259rl\u0259r e\u015fitm\u0259m\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn onunla bir m\u00fcdd\u0259t dan\u0131\u015fmamaq q\u0259rar\u0131 ald\u0131m…<\/p>\n 29 sentyabr<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n H\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 internetim yox idi… E\u015fitmi\u015fdim ki, VPN vasit\u0259sil\u0259 ham\u0131 internetini aktiv ed\u0259 bilir. Lakin m\u0259n etmirdim. Bir h\u0259ft\u0259 d\u00f6z\u0259 bil\u0259r\u0259m d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcm. Bir h\u0259ft\u0259 \u00e7\u0259k\u0259c\u0259yini hardan bilirdim ki? Niy\u0259 el\u0259 q\u0259rara g\u0259lmi\u015fdim? Sanki h\u0259ft\u0259 bit\u0259c\u0259kdi v\u0259 yen\u0259 he\u00e7 n\u0259 olmam\u0131\u015f kimi h\u0259ft\u0259nin birinci g\u00fcn\u00fc internetl\u0259 oyanacaqd\u0131q…<\/p>\n \u00dcr\u0259yim s\u0131x\u0131ld\u0131. T\u0259rlana z\u0259ng el\u0259dim.<\/p>\n \u2012 B\u0259s n\u0259 oldu? Bir-iki g\u00fcn\u0259 bitirdi?…<\/p>\n T\u0259rlan ah \u00e7\u0259kdi.<\/p>\n \u2012 Bit\u0259n\u0259 b\u0259nz\u0259mir…<\/p>\n \u2012 S\u0259nc\u0259 bir h\u0259ft\u0259y\u0259 bitm\u0259z?<\/p>\n \u2012 Bir h\u0259ft\u0259y\u0259 h\u0259l\u0259 t\u0259z\u0259 ba\u015flayacaq…<\/p>\n \u2012 S\u0259n\u0259 z\u0259ng g\u0259lm\u0259yib?…<\/p>\n \u2012 H\u0259l\u0259 yox. H\u0259r tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131m n\u00f6mr\u0259 z\u0259ng vuranda el\u0259 bilir\u0259m \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131rlar…<\/p>\n Sa\u011folla\u015fd\u0131qdan sonra\u00a0 VPN y\u00fckl\u0259dim. Daxil oldum…<\/p>\n Eyn\u0259n filml\u0259rd\u0259ki kimi… Qaranl\u0131qda ir\u0259lil\u0259yir\u0259m. Qap\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcr\u0259m. Aralay\u0131ram v\u0259 ota\u011fa daxil oluram. \u0130\u015f\u0131qlar, insanlar, s\u0259s-k\u00fcy…<\/p>\n G\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc telefondan b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 bir ne\u00e7\u0259 saat ay\u0131rmad\u0131m. H\u0259r k\u0259s m\u00fcharib\u0259d\u0259n yaz\u0131r, dayanmadan yeni x\u0259b\u0259rl\u0259r y\u00fckl\u0259yir, s\u0259f\u0259rb\u0259rlikd\u0259 apar\u0131lan qarda\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n, dostlar\u0131n\u0131n \u015f\u0259klini payla\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. Sanki ay\u0131lma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131m. Ne\u00e7\u0259 g\u00fcnd\u00fcr a\u011fl\u0131mda f\u0131rlanan v\u0259 cavab\u0131n\u0131 tapmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m suallar yava\u015f-yava\u015f g\u00fcn \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131rd\u0131. B\u00fct\u00fcn sosial \u015f\u0259b\u0259k\u0259l\u0259r aras\u0131nda d\u00f6vr\u0259 vururdum. Birind\u0259n \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b o birin\u0259 girir, o birind\u0259n \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b bu birin\u0259 daxil olurdum. Oxudu\u011fum b\u00fct\u00fcn x\u0259b\u0259rl\u0259ri evd\u0259 b\u0259rk s\u0259sl\u0259 ham\u0131ya deyirdim. Anamla atam ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 dayanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar. H\u0259r oxudu\u011fum informasiyaya: \u201cM\u0259nb\u0259 n\u0259dir?\u201d – dey\u0259 atam sual verirdi. \u00c7atd\u0131rm\u0131rd\u0131m…<\/p>\n 1 oktyabr<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Facebooka girdim. Bir az x\u0259b\u0259rl\u0259ri oxuduqdan sonra g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 Yusifin \u015f\u0259kli sata\u015fd\u0131. \u015e\u0259rhl\u0259rd\u0259 ham\u0131: \u201cSa\u011f-salamat qay\u0131t\u201d, – yaz\u0131rd\u0131… \u0130lk tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131m adam idi ki, s\u0259f\u0259rb\u0259rlikd\u0259 \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Dondum. Son d\u0259f\u0259 onunla 19 sentyabrda dan\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131q… Bir il idi g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb \u00e7ay i\u00e7m\u0259li idik. Amma araya daha \u201cvacib\u201d i\u015fl\u0259r, pandemiya, karantin v\u0259 sair girmi\u015fdi. N\u0259tic\u0259d\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcm\u00fcz ba\u015f tutmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. N\u0259hay\u0259t, \u015feytann\u0131n q\u0131\u00e7\u0131n\u0131 q\u0131r\u0131b onunla m\u00fcharib\u0259 ba\u015flamazdan bir h\u0259ft\u0259 qabaq g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u0259li idik. H\u0259tta g\u00fcn v\u0259 yer d\u0259 se\u00e7mi\u015fdik. Ancaq son anda: \u201cM\u0259nd\u0259 al\u0131nm\u0131r. Ba\u015fqa zamana qals\u0131n\u201d, – deyib t\u0259xir\u0259 salm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcm m\u0259n burda, o burda. G\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u0259rik h\u0259l\u0259…<\/p>\n Ancaq indi o burda deyildi. Bu g\u00fcn\u00fcn i\u015fini sabaha qoymamaq laz\u0131m imi\u015f. Gec ola bil\u0259rdi… M\u0259n is\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc t\u0259xir\u0259 sald\u0131\u011f\u0131ma g\u00f6r\u0259 vicdan \u0259zab\u0131 \u00e7\u0259kirdim. Ka\u015f ki, getm\u0259mi\u015fd\u0259n \u0259vv\u0259l onunla \u00e7ay i\u00e7s\u0259 idik…<\/p>\n Ona mesaj atd\u0131m. \u00c7atmad\u0131. \u015e\u0259klini a\u00e7\u0131b yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131rd\u0131m, baxma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131m. S\u0131x qara sa\u00e7lar\u0131 aras\u0131nda \u00e7oxlu sayda a\u011f t\u00fckl\u0259r var imi\u015f. \u018fvv\u0259l buna fikir verm\u0259mi\u015fdim. Doluxsundum. \u00dcr\u0259yimd\u0259ki s\u00f6zl\u0259ri bir-bir ona yazma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131m. \u00dcmid edirdim ki, bir g\u00fcn qay\u0131d\u0131b oxuyacaq…<\/p>\n 3 oktyabr<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Ax\u015fam saat 10-a yax\u0131nla\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. K\u00fc\u00e7\u0259d\u0259 \u201c\u00f6l\u00fc\u201d sakitlik idi. Ara bir yolda z\u0259if faralar\u0131n i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc: bo\u015f v\u0259 s\u0259ssiz k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n asta s\u00fcr\u0259tl\u0259 ma\u015f\u0131n ke\u00e7irdi. B\u0259z\u0259n uzaqlardan hans\u0131sa u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n \u201cQaraba\u011f!\u201d dey\u0259 q\u0131\u015fq\u0131r\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u0259lirdi. Bu g\u00fcnl\u0259rd\u0259, dem\u0259k olar ki, h\u0259r g\u00fcn bu s\u0259sl\u0259ri e\u015fidirdik. Evl\u0259rin i\u00e7ind\u0259 d\u0259 sakitlik h\u00f6km s\u00fcr\u00fcrd\u00fc. \u00dcr\u0259yim s\u0131x\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan tez-tez eyvana \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r, qaranl\u0131q k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 bax\u0131rd\u0131m. N\u0259 zamansa canl\u0131 idi bu k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259r…<\/p>\n \u0130\u00e7\u0259ri ke\u00e7ib qap\u0131n\u0131 ba\u011flam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m ki, yen\u0259 q\u0131\u015fq\u0131r\u0131q s\u0259sl\u0259ri e\u015fitdim. Bu d\u0259f\u0259 bir yox bir ne\u00e7\u0259 u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n s\u0259si eyni yerd\u0259n g\u0259lirdi. \u201cQaraba\u011f Az\u0259rbaycand\u0131r!\u201d… Ax\u0131 k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xmaq olmazd\u0131, \u201cHardan g\u0259lir bu s\u0259sl\u0259r?\u201d – dey\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm…<\/p>\n Get-ged\u0259 s\u0259sl\u0259r artma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131. H\u0259r t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259n bir-iki saniy\u0259 aral\u0131qla f\u0259rqli insanlar\u0131n f\u0259rqli s\u0259sl\u0259ri g\u0259lirdi. Ham\u0131s\u0131 eyni c\u00fcml\u0259ni t\u0259krar edirdi. Tez eyvana \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131q: yolun q\u0131ra\u011f\u0131na yava\u015f-yava\u015f adamlar y\u0131\u011f\u0131lma\u011fa ba\u015flam\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar. Bo\u015f yolda \u015f\u00fct\u00fcy\u0259n ma\u015f\u0131nlar\u0131n say\u0131 da sanki art\u0131rd\u0131… Uzaqdan mahn\u0131 s\u0259sl\u0259ri e\u015fidilm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131: \u201c\u0130gid \u0259sg\u0259r, m\u00f6hk\u0259m dayan…\u201d Sonra yen\u0259 q\u0131\u015fq\u0131r\u0131q s\u0259sl\u0259ri… H\u0259tta g\u00f6yd\u0259 ara bir fi\u015f\u0259ngl\u0259r d\u0259 par\u0131lday\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n \u00dczb\u0259\u00fcz binada, p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n birinin arxas\u0131nda himnimiz \u00e7al\u0131nma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131… B\u0259d\u0259nimd\u0259n \u00fc\u015f\u00fctm\u0259 ke\u00e7di. B\u0259rk s\u0259sl\u0259 himni oxuma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131m. M\u0259n\u0259 qo\u015fulanlar oldu, getdikc\u0259 \u00e7oxald\u0131… Bel\u0259c\u0259, b\u00fct\u00fcn p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259l\u0259rin i\u015f\u0131qlar\u0131 yand\u0131… S\u0259s b\u00fct\u00fcn \u015f\u0259h\u0259r\u0259 yay\u0131ld\u0131…<\/p>\n Atam yan\u0131mda dayan\u0131b sakitc\u0259 izl\u0259yirdi… T\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcb i\u00e7ind\u0259 ona baxd\u0131m:<\/p>\n \u2012 Birinci d\u0259f\u0259dir bel\u0259 \u015fey g\u00f6r\u00fcr\u0259m. B\u0259s s\u0259n?<\/p>\n \u2012 O q\u0259d\u0259r g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m… Bu n\u0259dir ki ? S\u0259n 30 il \u0259vv\u0259l g\u00f6r\u0259ydin bu xalq\u0131…<\/p>\n N\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n ke\u00e7mi\u015fik biz…<\/p>\n 4 oktyabr<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Nazl\u0131gilin evin\u0259 qonaq getmi\u015fdim. Divanda oturub diqq\u0259tl\u0259 x\u0259b\u0259rl\u0259r\u0259 bax\u0131rd\u0131q. G\u0259nc\u0259y\u0259 raket atm\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar. Mat-m\u0259\u0259t\u0259l da\u011f\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131 izl\u0259yirdim. Bel\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131rd\u0131 ki, c\u0259bh\u0259d\u0259 olanlardan \u0259lav\u0259 sivil insanlar\u0131n da h\u0259yat\u0131 t\u0259hl\u00fck\u0259d\u0259 idi… Bundan \u0259vv\u0259l d\u0259 bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 G\u0259nc\u0259 \u015f\u0259h\u0259rini vurmu\u015fdular, ancaq z\u0259r\u0259r \u00e7\u0259k\u0259n olmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u201cHavada z\u0259r\u0259rsizl\u0259\u015fdirirl\u0259r, narahatl\u0131\u011fa ehtiyac yoxdu\u201d, – deyirdil\u0259r. Ancaq bu d\u0259f\u0259 havada z\u0259r\u0259rsizl\u0259\u015fdir\u0259 bilm\u0259mi\u015fdil\u0259r… \u00d6z\u00fc, yaxud ail\u0259si G\u0259nc\u0259d\u0259 ya\u015fayan tan\u0131\u015flar\u0131m\u0131 yad\u0131ma sal\u0131b ham\u0131s\u0131na mesaj atd\u0131m, v\u0259ziyy\u0259tin nec\u0259 oldu\u011funu soru\u015fdum. \u00c7ox ist\u0259yirdim ki, \u201cH\u0259r \u015fey yax\u015f\u0131d\u0131r\u201d desinl\u0259r…<\/p>\n Ev\u0259 qay\u0131danda d\u00fckana girdim. Ma\u011fazan\u0131n bir k\u00fcnc\u00fcn\u0259 insanlar toplanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Sat\u0131c\u0131 q\u0131z\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fc q\u0131zarm\u0131\u015f, g\u00f6zl\u0259ri dolmu\u015fdu. Telefonla kim\u0259s\u0259 z\u0259ng edir, g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr d\u00fc\u015f\u0259 bilmirdi… B\u0259zi q\u0131r\u0131q k\u0259lm\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n anlad\u0131m ki, ail\u0259si G\u0259nc\u0259d\u0259dir. Onlara d\u00fc\u015f\u0259 bilmir. Yax\u0131nla\u015f\u0131b soru\u015fma\u011fa utand\u0131m… Ancaq \u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fc \u00e7evirib d\u00fckandan \u00e7\u0131xa bilm\u0259dim. Bel\u0259c\u0259, 5-10 d\u0259qiq\u0259 insanlar\u0131n arxas\u0131nda dayanandan sonra q\u0131z m\u0259ni – m\u00fc\u015ft\u0259rini g\u00f6r\u00fcb aya\u011fa qalxd\u0131. Yax\u0131nla\u015f\u0131b: \u201c\u00dczr ist\u0259yir\u0259m, sizl\u0259 maraqlana bilm\u0259dim\u201d, – dedi. M\u0259n d\u0259 \u201c\u0130n\u015fallah salamatl\u0131qd\u0131\u201dya b\u0259nz\u0259r c\u00fcml\u0259 qurub d\u00fckan\u0131 t\u0259rk etdim.\u00a0 Ail\u0259d\u0259n birin\u0259 z\u0259ng vurub d\u00fc\u015f\u0259 bilm\u0259m\u0259yin nec\u0259 duy\u011fu oldu\u011funu fikirl\u0259\u015fm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131m. Fikirl\u0259\u015f\u0259 bilm\u0259dim. Beynim bu s\u0259hn\u0259ni q\u0259bul etm\u0259k ist\u0259m\u0259di.\u00a0 \u201c\u0130n\u015fallah, yax\u015f\u0131 olar\u201d, – deyib, ah \u00e7\u0259kdim. Son zamanlar h\u0259r c\u00fcml\u0259min ax\u0131r\u0131na yaxud \u0259vv\u0259lin\u0259 \u201c\u0130n\u015fallah\u201d qo\u015furdum…<\/p>\n 6 oktyabr<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cBayraktara e\u015fq olsun!\u201d – Ham\u0131 dronlardan dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. Hara baxsam videolar qaba\u011f\u0131ma \u00e7\u0131x\u0131rd\u0131. Atam da \u0259lind\u0259 komp\u00fcter evi g\u0259zib dron videolar\u0131n\u0131 bir-bir ham\u0131m\u0131za g\u00f6st\u0259rm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. Anam: \u201cBaxmaq ist\u0259mir\u0259m, pis oluram\u201d, – deyib qa\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131. M\u0259n d\u0259…<\/p>\n \u00d6z\u00fcm\u00fc humanist say\u0131rd\u0131m. T\u0259k insanlara yox, \u0259traf\u0131mda ba\u015f ver\u0259n b\u00fct\u00fcn hadis\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131 h\u0259ssas idim. Avstraliyada yanan koalalara g\u00f6r\u0259 bel\u0259 pis olurdumsa, indi, h\u0259l\u0259 \u00f6z \u00f6lk\u0259md\u0259 insanlar\u0131n t\u0259l\u0259f olmas\u0131na nec\u0259 soyuqqanl\u0131 yana\u015fa bil\u0259rdim? D\u00fc\u015fm\u0259n\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131 da duy\u011fular\u0131m qar\u0131\u015f\u0131q idi. Qaba\u011f\u0131ma \u00e7\u0131xan: \u201cDaha bir erm\u0259nini m\u0259hv etdik\u201d, – tipli x\u0259b\u0259rl\u0259rd\u0259 \u015f\u0259kli payla\u015f\u0131lan g\u0259ncl\u0259r\u0259, d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259n d\u0259 olsa, ac\u0131y\u0131rd\u0131m. Onlar da kimins\u0259 balas\u0131, o\u011flu idi. Ulu babalar\u0131n\u0131n, atalar\u0131n\u0131n \u0259m\u0259ll\u0259ri onlar\u0131n boynunda deyil, olmamal\u0131d\u0131r, dey\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcm…<\/p>\n Bunu ilk d\u0259f\u0259 deyildi ki dil\u0259 g\u0259tirirdim. \u018fvv\u0259ll\u0259r d\u0259 evd\u0259 b\u0259nz\u0259r m\u00fczakir\u0259l\u0259r ged\u0259nd\u0259 bu m\u00f6vqed\u0259n \u00e7\u0131x\u0131\u015f edirdim. H\u0259r d\u0259f\u0259sind\u0259 atam m\u0259n\u0259 eyni cavab\u0131 verirdi, \u201cEh, s\u0259n canl\u0131 erm\u0259ni g\u00f6rm\u0259mis\u0259n. \u0130lan\u0131n a\u011f\u0131na da l\u0259n\u0259t, qaras\u0131na da!\u201d<\/p>\n Yen\u0259 d\u0259 i\u00e7imd\u0259ki humanist duy\u011fular m\u0259ni qar\u015f\u0131 t\u0259r\u0259fin m\u0259hv olmas\u0131na, kiml\u0259rins\u0259 \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn\u0259 sevinm\u0259y\u0259 qoymurdu… Ancaq dig\u0259r t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259n d\u0259 \u201cYa biz \u00f6lm\u0259liyik, ya onlar\u201d… \u201cH\u0259r onlardan sa\u011f qalan can bizd\u0259n birini apara bil\u0259r…\u201d d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259si beynim\u0259 hakim k\u0259silirdi. Bunu d\u0259rk ets\u0259m d\u0259, yen\u0259 d\u0259 e\u015fitm\u0259k, g\u00f6rm\u0259k ist\u0259mirdim. Videolardan qa\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131m…<\/p>\n 9 oktyabr<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n T\u0259rlandan z\u0259ng g\u0259ldi. S\u0259si yor\u011fun idi.<\/p>\n \u2012 Fuad da gedir. Sabah yola salaca\u011f\u0131q.<\/p>\n \u2012 K\u00f6n\u00fcll\u00fc?<\/p>\n \u2012 O el\u0259 iyuldan k\u00f6n\u00fcll\u00fc yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Bilirs\u0259n d\u0259 onu…<\/p>\n \u2012 Bilir\u0259m…<\/p>\n T\u0259rlan\u0131n \u0259n yax\u0131n dostlar\u0131ndan biri idi Fuad. D\u00fcnyan\u0131n \u0259n v\u0259t\u0259np\u0259rv\u0259rl\u0259rinin siyah\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 tutsalar, ora ad\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u0259 bil\u0259rdi. M\u00fcharib\u0259 ba\u015flayandan yerind\u0259 rahat dura bilmirdi. \u00dcmumiyy\u0259tl\u0259, \u00e7ox adamdan e\u015fidirdim: \u201cBurda durmaq olmur, ham\u0131 orda ik\u0259n… V\u0259t\u0259n \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131r…\u201d\u00a0 Fuada uzun-uzun mesaj yazd\u0131m. O da: \u201cPis adama he\u00e7 n\u0259 olmur. Narahat olma\u201d, – zarafatyana cavab verdi. Q\u0259rib\u0259 idi… Ged\u0259nl\u0259r qalanlara t\u0259s\u0259lli verirdil\u0259r… H\u0259yat\u0131 t\u0259hl\u00fck\u0259 alt\u0131nda olan onlar idi ax\u0131…\u00a0 Arzular\u0131 yar\u0131m\u00e7\u0131q qala bil\u0259rdi, x\u0259yallar\u0131 pu\u00e7 ola bil\u0259rdi. H\u0259yatlar\u0131 q\u0131r\u0131la bil\u0259rdi. T\u0259s\u0259lli onlara laz\u0131m deyildimi?\u00a0 Bizl\u0259rs\u0259 n\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259vi g\u00fccl\u00fc ola bilirdik, n\u0259 d\u0259 fiziki.\u00a0 Onlar h\u0259r iki y\u00fck\u00fc \u00fcz\u0259rl\u0259rin\u0259 g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcrd\u00fcl\u0259r…<\/p>\n Sabah\u0131 g\u00fcn Fuad\u0131 da yola sald\u0131q… G\u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259 kabusa \u00e7evrilmi\u015f o iri avtobuslara dolan g\u0259ncl\u0259r g\u00fcl\u0259-g\u00fcl\u0259 g\u00f6z\u00fc ya\u015fl\u0131 valideynl\u0259rin\u0259 \u0259l edirdil\u0259r…<\/p>\n Fuad\u0131n getdiyi il\u0259 bar\u0131\u015fa bilmirdim. \u0130nanmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn n\u00f6mr\u0259sin\u0259\u00a0 mesaj atd\u0131m. \u00c7atmad\u0131… \u201cQay\u0131danda ham\u0131n\u0131zdan bir qonaql\u0131q!\u201d son c\u00fcml\u0259si idi…<\/p>\n 11 oktyabr<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Piaonun dill\u0259ri il\u0259 oynay\u0131rd\u0131m. Son g\u00fcnl\u0259rd\u0259 t\u0259krar-t\u0259krar qulaq asd\u0131\u011f\u0131m t\u0259k musiqini \u00e7alma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m… H\u0259zin notlardan ba\u015flay\u0131b get-ged\u0259 qal\u0131nla\u015fan s\u0259s i\u00e7imi sar\u0131rd\u0131. Dill\u0259ri \u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259n as\u0131l\u0131 olmadan h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259kind\u0259n b\u0259rk bas\u0131rd\u0131m.\u00a0 \u00dcr\u0259yimd\u0259 y\u0131\u011f\u0131lan d\u0259rdl\u0259ri bir \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 i\u00e7imd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xarma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m. K\u00f6m\u0259yim\u0259 himnimiz g\u0259lmi\u015fdi… \u201cS\u0259nd\u0259n \u00f6tr\u00fc can verm\u0259y\u0259 c\u00fcml\u0259 qadiriz…\u201d\u00a0 Oxudu\u011fumuz misralar\u0131 indi s\u0259tir-s\u0259tir ya\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131q… H\u0259m q\u00fcrurverici idi, h\u0259m d\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fcc\u00fc…<\/p>\n \u00d6z\u00fcm\u00fc tan\u0131yandan pianonun \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259 duran balaca bayra\u011fa g\u00f6z\u00fcm sata\u015fd\u0131. Onu \u0259lim\u0259 al\u0131b tozunu sildim. Bir xeyli baxd\u0131qdan sonra atam\u0131n yan\u0131na getdim.<\/p>\n \u2012 Niy\u0259 bizim evd\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fck bayraq yoxdur?!<\/p>\n \u2012 \u0130st\u0259yirs\u0259n alaq…<\/p>\n 12 oktyabr<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Eyvana \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131m. Anamla yenic\u0259 \u00fct\u00fcl\u0259nmi\u015f, par-par yanan bayra\u011f\u0131 alt\u0131nc\u0131 m\u0259rt\u0259b\u0259d\u0259n a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 sallad\u0131q… Q\u00fcrurdan q\u0259h\u0259rl\u0259ndim…<\/p>\n 14 oktyabr<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Bayra\u011fa t\u0259k biz yox, b\u00fct\u00fcn \u015f\u0259h\u0259r b\u00fcr\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc: Az\u0259rbaycan v\u0259 T\u00fcrk bayraqlar\u0131na!\u00a0 Maskam\u0131 tax\u0131b ne\u00e7\u0259 zamandan b\u0259ri ilk d\u0259f\u0259 idi m\u0259rk\u0259z\u0259 gedirdim. Yol boyu taksid\u0259n \u0259trafa boylan\u0131rd\u0131m. Binalar\u0131n p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259n bayraqlar dal\u011fal\u0131n\u0131rd\u0131, ma\u011fazalar\u0131n \u015f\u00fc\u015f\u0259l\u0259ri \u00fc\u00e7 r\u0259ngl\u0259 boyanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. U\u015faqlar \u0259ll\u0259rind\u0259 bayraq yell\u0259d\u0259-yell\u0259d\u0259 k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259d\u0259 g\u0259zirdil\u0259r. Yan\u0131m\u0131zdan \u00f6t\u0259n h\u0259r ma\u015f\u0131ndan bayraqlar as\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u0130\u00e7imd\u0259 q\u0259rib\u0259 hissl\u0259r oyan\u0131rd\u0131. G\u00fcn ke\u00e7dikc\u0259 is\u0259 daha da alovlanan bu hissl\u0259rin \u00f6hd\u0259sind\u0259n g\u0259lm\u0259k olmurdu. Sin\u0259md\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fck d\u0259lik yaranm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 v\u0259 yan\u0131rd\u0131.\u00a0 V\u0259t\u0259n sevgisi…?<\/p>\n Bu zamana kimi harda idi bu bayraqlar? Boz v\u0259 qay\u011f\u0131l\u0131 \u015f\u0259h\u0259rimiz\u0259 sanki ikinci n\u0259f\u0259s vermi\u015fdi. R\u0259ng qatm\u0131\u015fd\u0131, sevgi qatm\u0131\u015fd\u0131… \u201cBundan sonra da h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 ucals\u0131n bayra\u011f\u0131m\u0131z!\u201d – dey\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm.<\/p>\n Bird\u0259n qabaqda yen\u0259 \u201ckabus avtobuslar\u0131\u201d g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fc… D\u00f6rd bir t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259 insanlar v\u0259 polisl\u0259rl\u0259 \u0259hat\u0259 olunmu\u015fdu. B\u0259zil\u0259ri art\u0131q dolu, b\u0259zil\u0259ri h\u0259l\u0259 bo\u015f idi… P\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259nin h\u0259r iki tay\u0131ndan \u0259ll\u0259r bir-birin\u0259 uzanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Ya\u015fl\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259r bir-birin\u0259 g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259yirdi…\u00a0 P\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259ni a\u00e7\u0131b dolu avtobusa diqq\u0259tl\u0259 baxd\u0131m. Bozumtul \u015f\u00fc\u015f\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n orda \u0259yl\u0259\u015f\u0259n o\u011flanlar\u0131n \u00fczl\u0259rini bir-bir yadda\u015f\u0131ma h\u0259kk etm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m.\u00a0 Taksi s\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fcs\u00fc avtobuslar\u0131n yan\u0131ndan \u00f6t\u0259nd\u0259 s\u00fcr\u0259ti azaltd\u0131. Ya\u015fl\u0131 day\u0131 da m\u0259nim kimi boylan\u0131b onlara bax\u0131rd\u0131…<\/p>\n \u201cAllah sizi qorusun. Sa\u011f-salamat qay\u0131d\u0131n, u\u015faqlar\u201d deyib k\u00f6ks\u00fcn\u00fc \u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc… Uzaqla\u015fd\u0131q…<\/p>\n 16 oktyabr<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n N\u0259n\u0259min ad g\u00fcn\u00fc idi. \u201cQeyd el\u0259mir\u0259m\u201d, – des\u0259 d\u0259 n\u0259v\u0259l\u0259r y\u0131\u011f\u0131\u015f\u0131b ona ki\u00e7ik bir tort alm\u0131\u015fd\u0131q. Ad g\u00fcn\u00fc b\u0259han\u0259si il\u0259 d\u0259 bir araya g\u0259lmi\u015fdik. Q\u0131sa bir m\u00fcdd\u0259tlik n\u0259n\u0259nin qanadlar\u0131 alt\u0131nda d\u0259rdl\u0259rimizi, probleml\u0259rimizi, m\u00fcharib\u0259ni unutduq sanki… N\u0259n\u0259nin d\u0259 kefi k\u00f6k idi. G\u0259lmi\u015fdik dey\u0259 sevinirdi, dar\u0131xm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 bizim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn. Bir-bir ham\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 sual-cavaba tuturdu. M\u0259n\u0259 yax\u0131nla\u015f\u0131b eyhamla: \u201cT\u0259z\u0259 bir \u015fey varm\u0131?\u201d – soru\u015fdu. \u201cAy n\u0259n\u0259, m\u00fcharib\u0259nin ortas\u0131nda he\u00e7 yeridi?\u201d deyib azca \u0259s\u0259bl\u0259\u015fdim. \u0130nternet i\u015fl\u0259mirdi dey\u0259 n\u0259n\u0259m youtuba gir\u0259 bilmirdi. T\u0259z\u0259 \u00f6yr\u0259nmi\u015fdi ondan istifad\u0259 etm\u0259yi. B\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcn n\u0259y\u0259s\u0259 bax\u0131r, ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 qat\u0131rd\u0131. Hey deyirdi: \u201cOradan el\u0259 g\u0259\u015f\u0259ng reseptl\u0259r \u00f6yr\u0259nmi\u015f\u0259m ki…\u201d.<\/p>\n Xalam q\u0131z\u0131 il\u0259 k\u00f6m\u0259kl\u0259\u015fib qonaq ota\u011f\u0131n\u0131n ortas\u0131na\u00a0 \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn yor\u011fan d\u00f6\u015f\u0259k s\u0259rdik. Komendant saat\u0131na g\u00f6r\u0259 art\u0131q oldu\u011fumuz yeri t\u0259rk ed\u0259 bilm\u0259zdik, qalmal\u0131 idik. G\u00fcn yax\u015f\u0131 ke\u00e7mi\u015fdi. Bizim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn…<\/p>\n Atamdan mesaj g\u0259ldi:<\/p>\n \u2012 G\u0259nc\u0259y\u0259 yen\u0259 bomba at\u0131blar…<\/p>\n Televizoru a\u00e7d\u0131m. Bizd\u0259n ba\u015fqa ham\u0131 yatm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.\u00a0 Oyatmamaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn s\u0259si a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 sald\u0131m. Xalam q\u0131z\u0131 il\u0259 yerimizd\u0259n qalx\u0131b televizorun d\u00fcz qaba\u011f\u0131nda oturduq. Da\u011f\u0131nt\u0131lara bax\u0131rd\u0131q. Ekranda quca\u011f\u0131nda \u00e7\u0259hray\u0131 b\u0259l\u0259kd\u0259 k\u00f6rp\u0259 u\u015faq tutan bir xilasedici g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fc. \u0130nsanlar\u0131 aralay\u0131b balaca cans\u0131z b\u0259d\u0259ni hadis\u0259 yerind\u0259n apard\u0131. Qan\u0131m dondu…<\/p>\n H\u0259min gec\u0259 yata bilm\u0259dim. Hey qula\u011f\u0131ma s\u0259sl\u0259r g\u0259lir, b\u0259d\u0259nimd\u0259n \u00fc\u015f\u00fctm\u0259 ke\u00e7irdi. H\u0259rd\u0259n s\u0259s\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 qald\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131m. Xalam q\u0131z\u0131 il\u0259 g\u00f6z-g\u00f6z\u0259 g\u0259lirdik. O da m\u0259nim kimi yata bilmirdi. \u0130lk d\u0259f\u0259 idi \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc evimizd\u0259 t\u0259hl\u00fck\u0259sizlikd\u0259 hiss etmirdim. H\u0259r an n\u0259s\u0259 ola bil\u0259r dey\u0259 narahat idim. \u00d6z\u00fcmd\u0259n savay\u0131 ail\u0259mi, yax\u0131nlar\u0131m\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131m. \u201cG\u00f6r\u0259s\u0259n hans\u0131 ota\u011fa raket d\u00fc\u015fs\u0259 ham\u0131 sa\u011f qala bil\u0259r?\u201d. M\u0259nd\u0259n as\u0131l\u0131 olmadan a\u011fl\u0131ma minl\u0259rl\u0259 fikir g\u0259lirdi. G\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcm cans\u0131z k\u00f6rp\u0259 g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn qaba\u011f\u0131ndan getmirdi…\u00a0 \u00d6z\u00fcm\u0259 t\u0259s\u0259lli verdim: \u201cBak\u0131 yax\u015f\u0131 qorunur. Ola bilm\u0259z…\u201d Ancaq b\u0259s ba\u015fqa \u015f\u0259h\u0259rl\u0259r? Ba\u015fqa insanlar? B\u0259s G\u0259nc\u0259? \u0130ndi yuxusuz qalan minl\u0259rl\u0259 ail\u0259?..<\/p>\n 17 oktyabr<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n \u2012 G\u0259lin. T\u0259z\u0259 dron videolar\u0131 var. G\u0259nc\u0259nin intiqam\u0131! \u2013 atam bizi s\u0259sl\u0259di.<\/p>\n Ham\u0131 \u0259lind\u0259ki i\u015fi at\u0131b divanda \u0259yl\u0259\u015fdi. Film\u0259 baxan kimi videog\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcl\u0259ri b\u00fct\u00fcn ekranla bir izl\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131q… \u0130lk d\u0259f\u0259 idi bu videolar\u0131 izl\u0259yirdim. H\u0259tta yax\u015f\u0131 g\u00f6rm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn eyn\u0259yimi d\u0259 taxm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Anam da… Yuxar\u0131dan \u00e7\u0259kil\u0259n kadrlarda pilotsuz dronlar onun s\u0259sini e\u015fid\u0259n kimi s\u0259p\u0259l\u0259nib qa\u00e7ma\u011fa ba\u015flayan \u0259sg\u0259rl\u0259ri \u201cd\u0259nl\u0259yirdi\u201d … Arada qa\u00e7a bil\u0259n hans\u0131sa \u0259sg\u0259ri \u0259limizl\u0259 g\u00f6st\u0259rib: \u201cBiri qa\u00e7d\u0131\u201dya b\u0259nz\u0259r r\u0259yl\u0259r bildirirdik.\u00a0 Sanki ,do\u011frudan da, film izl\u0259yirdik. Ancaq bu film deyildi, real g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcl\u0259r idi. Real insanlarla… Videolar\u0131n birind\u0259 partlay\u0131\u015fdan sonra ba\u015f\u0131 b\u0259d\u0259nind\u0259n ayr\u0131lan \u0259sg\u0259r hiss\u0259sini atam geriy\u0259 f\u0131rlad\u0131b bir d\u0259 qoydu. Bir d\u0259 baxd\u0131q. T\u00fck\u00fcm\u00fcz d\u0259 t\u0259rp\u0259nm\u0259di. H\u0259tta tam \u0259ksi… \u00dcr\u0259yimiz\u0259 su kimi s\u0259pilirdi… Rahatl\u0131q tap\u0131rd\u0131q…<\/p>\n \u0130ntiqam duy\u011fusu yaranma\u011fa v\u0259 artma\u011fa ba\u015flam\u0131\u015fd\u0131… Halbuki bir-iki g\u00fcn \u0259vv\u0259l \u00fcr\u0259yimizi tutub qa\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131q bu s\u0259hn\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n. \u0130ndi is\u0259 bir insan\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131n b\u0259d\u0259nind\u0259n ayr\u0131lmas\u0131na sevin\u0259n olmu\u015fduq…<\/p>\n Bu biz idikmi? B\u0259s humanizm n\u0259 oldu? Getdi humanizm… Gorbagor oldu…<\/p>\n 20 oktyabr<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cYusifl\u0259 telefonda dan\u0131\u015fa bildim. H\u0259r \u015fey yax\u015f\u0131d\u0131\u201d.\u00a0 Dostlar\u0131ndan biri facebookda Yusifi i\u015far\u0259l\u0259yib status payla\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u00c7ox sevindim. \u00d6n c\u0259bh\u0259d\u0259 oldu\u011funu bilirdim, ancaq ba\u015fqa he\u00e7 bir m\u0259lumat\u0131m yox idi…<\/p>\n \u00dcmumiyy\u0259tl\u0259, onun kimi sakit t\u0259bi\u0259tli, yum\u015faq \u00fcr\u0259kli bir insan m\u00fcharib\u0259d\u0259 nec\u0259 i\u015ftirak ed\u0259 bil\u0259rdi,\u00a0 \u00f6n c\u0259bh\u0259d\u0259 kimis\u0259 nec\u0259 \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u0259 bil\u0259rdi, – dey\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcm… Ax\u0131 o qar\u0131\u015fqaya bel\u0259 ziyan ver\u0259 bilm\u0259y\u0259n biri idi. B\u0259lk\u0259 onun da humanist hissl\u0259ri m\u0259nim kimi m\u0259hv olmu\u015fdu…?\u00a0 Dayanmadan \u00f6l\u00fcm x\u0259b\u0259rl\u0259ri g\u0259lirdi… \u015e\u0259hidl\u0259r… N\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r cavan canlar itirdik… H\u0259r g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcm \u015f\u0259hidin \u015f\u0259klin\u0259 uzun-uzun bax\u0131rd\u0131m. \u201cHeyf s\u0259nd\u0259n\u201d, – deyib ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 yell\u0259yirdim. Nec\u0259 o\u011flanlar\u0131m\u0131z var imi\u015f… Nec\u0259 d\u00f6z\u0259c\u0259yik bu itkil\u0259r\u0259? Ail\u0259l\u0259ri, yax\u0131nlar\u0131 nec\u0259 d\u00f6z\u00fcrl\u0259r g\u00f6r\u0259n… Sonra yen\u0259 Yusif g\u0259lirdi g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn \u00f6n\u00fcn\u0259. G\u00f6r\u0259s\u0259n n\u0259 edir? Haradad\u0131r? Harada yat\u0131r? \u00dc\u015f\u00fcy\u00fcrm\u00fc?\u00a0 Sa\u00e7lar\u0131nda a\u011f t\u00fckl\u0259rin say\u0131 art\u0131bm\u0131? Ancaq suallar yen\u0259 cavabs\u0131z idi… Fikirl\u0259\u015firdim ki, he\u00e7 bir x\u0259b\u0259r yoxdusa, dem\u0259li sa\u011fd\u0131r…<\/p>\n G\u00fczg\u00fcd\u0259ki \u0259ksimd\u0259 sa\u00e7\u0131m\u0131n \u00fcst hiss\u0259sinin i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n alt\u0131nda par\u0131ldad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hiss etdim. G\u00fczg\u00fcy\u0259 yax\u0131nla\u015f\u0131b a\u011farm\u0131\u015f ilk t\u00fck\u00fcm\u00fc n\u0259z\u0259rd\u0259n ke\u00e7irdim. M\u0259nim t\u00fckl\u0259rim a\u011farma\u011fa ba\u015flam\u0131\u015fd\u0131sa, yuxusuz analar\u0131n a\u011farmam\u0131\u015f teli qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m\u0131 g\u00f6r\u0259s\u0259n?<\/p>\n 28 oktyabr<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n M\u0259tan\u0259tl\u0259 parkda g\u0259zirdik. Deyirdi ki, art\u0131q 94 v\u0259 93 t\u0259v\u0259ll\u00fcdl\u00fc o\u011flanlar\u0131 \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rma\u011fa ba\u015flay\u0131blar. Ni\u015fanl\u0131s\u0131 92 t\u0259v\u0259ll\u00fcd idi. \u201cAz qal\u0131b\u201d deyirdi… \u201cO da ged\u0259c\u0259k\u201d deyirdi… Yad\u0131ma d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc ki, m\u0259nim xalam o\u011flu da 93 t\u0259v\u0259ll\u00fcdl\u00fcd\u00fc. \u0130\u00e7im\u0259 yen\u0259 narahatl\u0131q girdi. \u00dcmumiyy\u0259tl\u0259, m\u0259nim b\u00fct\u00fcn dost-tan\u0131\u015flar\u0131m o t\u0259v\u0259ll\u00fcdl\u0259rd\u0259 idi… Yen\u0259 bir-bir ham\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131m.\u00a0 Dig\u0259r t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 \u0259s\u0259bl\u0259\u015firdim. \u00dcr\u0259yimd\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcml\u0259 m\u00fcharib\u0259 apar\u0131rd\u0131m. \u201cAparmas\u0131nlar\u201d dediyim yax\u0131nlar\u0131mdan c\u0259bh\u0259d\u0259 vuru\u015fan \u0259sg\u0259rl\u0259rin f\u0259rqi n\u0259 idi ki? Onlar\u0131n ail\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259n, analar\u0131ndan, bac\u0131lar\u0131ndan n\u0259yimiz se\u00e7ilirdi? B\u00fct\u00fcn canlar d\u0259y\u0259rli idi… Ham\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n borcu idi v\u0259t\u0259n borcu…<\/p>\n Ev\u0259 qay\u0131danda x\u0259b\u0259rl\u0259rd\u0259 B\u0259rd\u0259 \u015f\u0259h\u0259rini g\u00f6st\u0259rirdil\u0259r. H\u0259l\u0259 olanlardan x\u0259b\u0259rsiz idim…<\/p>\n D\u00fc\u015fm\u0259n T\u0259rt\u0259rl\u0259 B\u0259rd\u0259ni durmadan at\u0259\u015f\u0259 tuturdu. M\u00fcharib\u0259d\u0259n \u0259vv\u0259l d\u0259 bu \u0259razil\u0259rd\u0259 at\u0259\u015f s\u0259sl\u0259ri \u0259skik olmurdu. H\u0259r s\u0259h\u0259r bu c\u00fcr x\u0259b\u0259rl\u0259rl\u0259 oyan\u0131rd\u0131q. Bir d\u0259f\u0259 televizorda ya\u015fl\u0131 bir ki\u015fi dedi ki, biz art\u0131q \u00f6yr\u0259\u015fmi\u015fik raket s\u0259sl\u0259rin\u0259…\u201d\u00a0 \u201cBuna nec\u0259 \u00f6yr\u0259\u015fm\u0259k olar ax\u0131?\u201d \u2013 inana bilm\u0259dim.<\/p>\n G\u00f6d\u0259k\u00e7\u0259mi \u00e7\u0131xarmadan ekran qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda \u0259yl\u0259\u015fib x\u0259b\u0259rl\u0259ri izl\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131m. X\u0259b\u0259rl\u0259rd\u0259 qada\u011fan olunmu\u015f kasetli bombalarla B\u0259rd\u0259y\u0259 endiril\u0259n z\u0259rb\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n dan\u0131\u015f\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131. Yan\u0131b k\u00fcl\u0259 d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015f ma\u015f\u0131n g\u00f6st\u0259rdil\u0259r, arxas\u0131nca is\u0259 21 \u00f6l\u00fc… Sonra f\u0259ryad ed\u0259n yax\u0131nlar\u0131n \u015f\u0259kill\u0259ri \u00f6t\u00fcb ke\u00e7di g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fcn gaba\u011f\u0131ndan…Yen\u0259 qan\u0131m dondu… Diqq\u0259timi bir \u015f\u0259kil \u00e7\u0259kdi: qad\u0131n dayanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131, yan\u0131nda da u\u015fa\u011f\u0131. U\u015faq a\u011flayan anas\u0131n\u0131 qucaqlam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Atas\u0131 onlar\u0131 marketd\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u00fcb, qaba\u011f\u0131nda g\u00f6zl\u0259yirmi\u015f. K\u00fcl olmu\u015f ma\u015f\u0131n da onun idi… \u0130\u00e7ind\u0259 o da k\u00fcl olmu\u015fdu.<\/p>\n \u0130stil\u0259ndim. Bu d\u0259f\u0259 k\u00f6vr\u0259lm\u0259dim, \u00fcz\u00fclm\u0259dim, a\u011flamad\u0131m… \u018fksin\u0259. Hirsl\u0259ndim… \u0130\u00e7im q\u0259z\u0259bl\u0259 doldu… B\u0259d\u0259nimi k\u00fct a\u011fr\u0131 b\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fc. H\u0259r \u015feyi q\u0131r\u0131b t\u00f6km\u0259k ist\u0259yirdim. Bunu ed\u0259nl\u0259rin c\u0259zas\u0131n\u0131 verm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdim. \u0130ntiqam hissim art\u0131r, bu hadis\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 s\u0259ssiz qalm\u0131\u015f d\u00fcnyaya nifr\u0259tim oyan\u0131rd\u0131…<\/p>\n Ax\u015fam yen\u0259 intiqam dronlar\u0131n\u0131n videolar\u0131 yay\u0131ld\u0131. D\u0259f\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 izl\u0259dim. Ancaq bu d\u0259f\u0259 i\u00e7im soyumad\u0131…<\/p>\n 1 noyabr<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n C\u0259bh\u0259d\u0259n g\u0259l\u0259n x\u0259b\u0259rl\u0259rin ard\u0131-aras\u0131 k\u0259silmirdi. N\u0259tic\u0259l\u0259r bizim xeyrimiz\u0259 idi. Ancaq anlamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m bir \u015fey vard\u0131: niy\u0259 d\u00fcnya bizi haqs\u0131z g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fc? S\u0259simizi niy\u0259 \u00e7atd\u0131ra bilmirdik? Yoxsa \u00e7atd\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131q, g\u00f6rm\u0259zd\u0259n g\u0259lirdil\u0259r? B\u0259s d\u00fcnyan\u0131n \u0259dal\u0259ti, insanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 harada gizl\u0259nmi\u015fdi?<\/p>\n B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 yox imi\u015f he\u00e7 o \u0259dal\u0259t. Ba\u015fqa \u00f6lk\u0259l\u0259ri g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fczd\u0259, zehnimizd\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fcd\u00fcb m\u00fck\u0259mm\u0259ll\u0259\u015fdirmi\u015fdik. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 m\u00fck\u0259mm\u0259l idil\u0259r, ancaq \u00f6zl\u0259ri \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn… Balaca bir \u00f6lk\u0259nin f\u0259ryad\u0131 he\u00e7 k\u0259s\u0259 maraql\u0131 deyildi. Bizi \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fczd\u0259n ba\u015fqa he\u00e7 k\u0259s anlam\u0131rd\u0131… T\u0259k d\u0259st\u0259yimiz T\u00fcrkiy\u0259 idi… \u201cBir mil\u0259t, iki d\u00f6vl\u0259t\u201d deyiminin m\u0259nas\u0131n\u0131 indi daha yax\u015f\u0131 ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrd\u00fcm. B\u0259s dig\u0259r \u201cm\u00fck\u0259mm\u0259l\u201dl\u0259rd\u0259n kim oldu dar g\u00fcnd\u0259 yan\u0131m\u0131zda? \u018fdal\u0259tli bir s\u00f6z dey\u0259n a\u011f\u0131z, yazan barmaq axtar\u0131rd\u0131q. Qumsall\u0131qda qara qum d\u0259n\u0259cikl\u0259rini se\u00e7ib-ay\u0131rma\u011fa b\u0259nz\u0259yirdi axtar\u0131\u015flar\u0131m\u0131z… \u0130lk d\u0259f\u0259 idi d\u00fcnyam\u0131zda q\u0259ribliyin, yadl\u0131\u011f\u0131n n\u0259 oldu\u011funu dolu-dolu ya\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131q. \u0130lk d\u0259f\u0259 idi \u015f\u0259h\u0259rim m\u0259n\u0259 \u0259n do\u011fma, \u0259n \u0259ziz yer kimi g\u0259lirdi. \u0130lk d\u0259f\u0259 idi d\u0259rdimiz eyni idi, ham\u0131m\u0131z eyni dili dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131q… Yolda tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z insanlar\u0131n \u0259lind\u0259n tutacaq, qucaqlayacaq, a\u011flayacaq q\u0259d\u0259r yax\u0131n olmu\u015fduq. He\u00e7 bu q\u0259d\u0259r g\u00f6z\u0259l olmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131 Az\u0259rbaycan…<\/p>\n Dey\u0259s\u0259n, do\u011frudan da, \u201cG\u0259zm\u0259y\u0259 q\u0259rib \u00f6lk\u0259, \u00f6lm\u0259y\u0259 v\u0259t\u0259n yax\u015f\u0131\u201d imi\u015f…<\/p>\n 3 noyabr<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Qaba\u011f\u0131ma bir \u015f\u0259rh \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. \u201cD\u0259y\u0259rmi?\u201d yazm\u0131\u015fd\u0131…\u00a0 \u201cBir qar\u0131\u015f torpa\u011fa g\u00f6r\u0259…\u201d D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm… M\u0259s\u0259l\u0259 bu q\u0259d\u0259r sad\u0259 idi ki? Bir qar\u0131\u015f torpaq? \u201cEv\u201d dediyimiz bu torpaqlar deyilmi? \u0130nsan evsiz ya\u015faya bil\u0259rdimi? V\u0259t\u0259n dediyimiz evimiz deyilmi? Bu \u201cev\u201d\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 yax\u0131n ke\u00e7mi\u015fd\u0259 26 min qurban vermi\u015fdik biz… 26 min rahatl\u0131q tapmayan can… Birinci Qaraba\u011f \u015f\u0259hidl\u0259ri…<\/p>\n \u00d6z do\u011fuldu\u011fum \u015f\u0259h\u0259ri d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm. Bir daha oran\u0131 g\u00f6r\u0259 bilm\u0259s\u0259ydim n\u0259 hissl\u0259r ke\u00e7ir\u0259rdim? Bir d\u0259 bu k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 g\u0259z\u0259 bilm\u0259s\u0259ydim, evim\u0259 ged\u0259 bilm\u0259sydim… \u00dcr\u0259yimin bir t\u0259r\u0259fi h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 q\u0131r\u0131q qalard\u0131. Yaral\u0131 olard\u0131…<\/p>\n 1990-c\u0131 ill\u0259r… H\u0259min ill\u0259r\u0259 aid h\u0259r \u015feyd\u0259n qa\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131m. O d\u0259h\u015f\u0259tli m\u0259\u011flubiyy\u0259timizi, itirdikl\u0259rimizi q\u0259bul etm\u0259k ist\u0259mirdim… Amma g\u00f6rm\u0259zd\u0259n g\u0259lm\u0259k faktlar\u0131 silib atm\u0131rd\u0131 t\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcf ki. Telefonu yand\u0131r\u0131b axtar\u0131\u015f saytlar\u0131na girdim… O ill\u0259r, uduzdu\u011fumuz m\u00fcharib\u0259 haqq\u0131nda qaba\u011f\u0131ma \u00e7\u0131xan b\u00fct\u00fcn videolara, \u015f\u0259kill\u0259r\u0259 baxma\u011fa, b\u00fct\u00fcn yaz\u0131lar\u0131 oxuma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131m. Niy\u0259s\u0259 i\u00e7imd\u0259 c\u00fcc\u0259r\u0259n nifr\u0259t \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 yer tapm\u0131rd\u0131. Dayanmadan ke\u00e7mi\u015f\u0259 qay\u0131d\u0131r, bilm\u0259diyim, e\u015fitm\u0259diyim hadis\u0259l\u0259ri ara\u015fd\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131m. Niy\u0259? N\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn? H\u0259r \u015feyi bilm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdim. T\u0259krar-t\u0259krar dolmaq v\u0259 unutmamaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn. Soyumamaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn…<\/p>\n \u00c7ingiz Mustafayevin reportajlar\u0131ndan biri \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131 qaba\u011f\u0131ma… D\u00f6y\u00fc\u015f\u0259n k\u00f6n\u00fcll\u00fc \u0259sg\u0259rl\u0259rimiz dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131.\u00a0 Bir cavan o\u011flan deyirdi: \u201cQoy onlar e\u015fitsinl\u0259r ki, bunun ax\u0131r\u0131 yoxdu. Nec\u0259 bizi torpaqlar\u0131m\u0131zdan qovublar, el\u0259 d\u0259 \u00f6zl\u0259ri buradan ged\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259r\u201d… Do\u011frudan da el\u0259 olurdu… G\u00f6r\u0259n h\u0259min \u0259sg\u0259rin sonu nec\u0259 olmu\u015fdu? Sa\u011f qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m\u0131, yoxsa d\u00f6y\u00fc\u015fl\u0259rd\u0259 h\u0259lak olmu\u015fdu. H\u0259lak olmu\u015fdusa harda, nec\u0259 olmu\u015fdu? Sa\u011fd\u0131rsa bunlar\u0131 indi g\u00f6r\u00fcrm\u00fc? G\u00f6r\u00fcrs\u0259 n\u0259 hissl\u0259r ke\u00e7irir? \u0130st\u0259nil\u0259n halda qoy rahat olsun, intiqam\u0131 al\u0131n\u0131r… \u201cH\u0259min an m\u0259n bel\u0259 \u0259lim\u0259 silah al\u0131b vuru\u015fa bil\u0259rdim\u201d, – duy\u011fular\u0131 il\u0259 f\u0131rlan\u0131rd\u0131m…<\/p>\n T\u0259siri alt\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcy\u00fcm videolardan sonra evd\u0259 anama yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131m. Soru\u015fdum:<\/p>\n \u2012 Bu q\u0259d\u0259r \u015feyd\u0259n sonra nec\u0259 he\u00e7 n\u0259 olmam\u0131\u015f kimi ya\u015faya bilmisiz? Nec\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcz\u0259 g\u0259lmisiz? Dey\u0259, g\u00fcl\u0259, h\u0259yata davam etmisiz… Ax\u0131 siz bunlar\u0131 g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fczl\u0259 g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcn\u00fcz…<\/p>\n \u2012 H\u0259\u0259… M\u0259n d\u0259 bilmir\u0259m. El\u0259 bilirdik \u00fcr\u0259yimizin a\u011fr\u0131lar\u0131 he\u00e7 zaman ke\u00e7m\u0259y\u0259c\u0259k… Amma zamanla insan \u00f6yr\u0259\u015fir dey\u0259s\u0259n…<\/p>\n Biz d\u0259 zamanla \u00f6yr\u0259\u015f\u0259c\u0259yik dem\u0259li… Biz d\u0259 bunun \u00f6hd\u0259sind\u0259n g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259yik.\u00a0 Ancaq \u00f6yr\u0259\u015fm\u0259k ist\u0259mirdim. X\u0259yan\u0259t etmi\u015f kimi \u00fcr\u0259yimi narahat edirdi bu \u00f6yr\u0259\u015fm\u0259k fikri…<\/p>\n 8 noyabr<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Anam ota\u011fa daxil olub m\u0259ni s\u0259sl\u0259di.<\/p>\n \u2012 Qalx. \u0130ndi prezidentin \u00e7\u0131x\u0131\u015f\u0131 olacaq…<\/p>\n Ne\u00e7\u0259 g\u00fcn idi ki, dild\u0259n-dil\u0259 eyni m\u00f6vz\u00fc \u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcl\u00fcrd\u00fc. \u201c\u015eu\u015fan\u0131 alm\u0131\u015f\u0131q. Bir-iki g\u00fcn\u0259 x\u0259b\u0259ri \u00e7\u0131xar\u201d…<\/p>\n \u015eu\u015fa ayr\u0131 idi… M\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259 oxudu\u011fumuz ill\u0259rd\u0259 g\u00fcnd\u0259liyin \u00f6n s\u0259hif\u0259sind\u0259 i\u015f\u011fal alt\u0131nda olan rayonlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n siyah\u0131s\u0131 vard\u0131, \u0259zb\u0259rl\u0259yirdik. Ancaq m\u0259hz \u015eu\u015fan\u0131 h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 ayr\u0131 vur\u011fulayard\u0131 m\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259r. Evd\u0259 valideynl\u0259rim d\u0259 \u015eu\u015fadan dan\u0131\u015fanda g\u00f6zl\u0259ri dolurd\u0131… \u015eu\u015fan\u0131n al\u0131nmas\u0131na ayr\u0131 \u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcrd\u00fcl\u0259r sanki… Qaraba\u011f\u0131n d\u00f6y\u00fcn\u0259n \u00fcr\u0259yi… Deyirdil\u0259r ki, oran\u0131n havas\u0131 da bir ba\u015fqad\u0131r. O q\u0259d\u0259r m\u00fck\u0259mm\u0259ll\u0259\u015fdirilmi\u015fdi ki, beynimd\u0259 \u015eu\u015fa m\u0259n\u0259 \u0259l\u00e7atmaz bir zirv\u0259 kimi g\u0259lirdi… Hardasa uzaqlarda, ziyar\u0259tin\u0259 ged\u0259 bilm\u0259diyimiz bir do\u011fma kimi…<\/p>\n M\u00fcharib\u0259 \u0259rzind\u0259 d\u0259 \u00e7ox insandan buna b\u0259nz\u0259r s\u00f6hb\u0259tl\u0259r e\u015fidirdim. Beynim\u0259 el\u0259 h\u0259kk olunmu\u015fdu ki, \u015eu\u015fan\u0131 alsaq, m\u00fcharib\u0259ni udmu\u015fuq dem\u0259kdir. S\u0131ld\u0131r\u0131m qayalar\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131nda, buludlar\u0131n alt\u0131nda yatan bizim \u015eu\u015fa…<\/p>\n \u00c7ay\u0131m\u0131 s\u00fcz\u00fcb qonaq ota\u011f\u0131na ke\u00e7dim… Televizor qaba\u011f\u0131nda n\u0259f\u0259simizi saxlam\u0131\u015fd\u0131q…<\/p>\n \u201c\u018fziz \u015eu\u015fa, s\u0259n azadsan\u201d… O an yerimd\u0259n qalx\u0131b var s\u0259sl\u0259 q\u0131\u015fq\u0131rd\u0131m. \u018fll\u0259rimi g\u00f6y\u0259 a\u00e7\u0131b balaca u\u015faq kimi tullanma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131m. Ancaq haqq\u0131nda e\u015fitdiyimiz, dastana d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015f \u015eu\u015fan\u0131 g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fczl\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 bil\u0259c\u0259kdik?…<\/p>\n K\u00fc\u00e7\u0259d\u0259n s\u0259sl\u0259r g\u0259lm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131… Eyvana \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131m. \u015e\u0259h\u0259r sanki ya\u015f\u0131l v\u0259 mavi zolaqlar\u0131n m\u00fc\u015fayi\u0259ti il\u0259 al q\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 r\u0259ng\u0259 boyanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.\u00a0 \u0130nsanlar k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 axma\u011fa ba\u015flam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u015e\u00fct\u00fcy\u0259n ma\u015f\u0131nlardan q\u0131\u015fq\u0131r\u0131q s\u0259sl\u0259ri g\u0259lirdi… P\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n boylananlar yumruqlar\u0131n\u0131 s\u0131x\u0131b \u201c\u015eu\u015fa!\u201d dey\u0259 var s\u0259sl\u0259ri il\u0259 ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131lar… O an ham\u0131m\u0131z \u015eu\u015fal\u0131 idik… Sanki r\u00f6ya g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fcm…<\/p>\n M\u0259n d\u0259 var s\u0259siml\u0259 \u201cAz\u0259rbaycan!\u201d dey\u0259 q\u0131\u015fq\u0131rma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131m. \u201cS\u0259ni sevir\u0259m!\u201d \u201cBizi sevir\u0259m!\u201d c\u00fcml\u0259l\u0259ri ax\u0131rd\u0131 bo\u011faz\u0131mdan. Qollar\u0131m\u0131 a\u00e7m\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Sin\u0259md\u0259n ham\u0131n\u0131, h\u0259r k\u0259si ba\u011fr\u0131ma basmaq ke\u00e7irdi…\u00a0 \u201c\u015eu\u015fa \u015f\u0259h\u0259ri insan cildind\u0259 olsa idi, onu b\u0259rk-b\u0259rk qucaqlayard\u0131m\u201d, – dey\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm…<\/p>\n G\u00f6d\u0259k\u00e7\u0259mi \u00e7iynim\u0259 at\u0131b qap\u0131dan \u00e7\u0131xma\u011fa haz\u0131rla\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m. \u201cTez g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259m\u201d dem\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn anam\u0131 s\u0259sl\u0259dim. M\u0259tb\u0259xd\u0259 oturub fikr\u0259 getmi\u015fdi…\u00a0 \u201c\u015eu\u015fa qayal\u0131qlar\u0131n \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259 yerl\u0259\u015fir… Qalan\u0131 almaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r igidl\u0259rimiz \u015f\u0259hid olub y\u0259qin…\u201d, – dedi…<\/p>\n Susdum… Maskam\u0131 \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 ke\u00e7irib qap\u0131dan \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131m…<\/p>\n 10 noyabr<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n \u2012 Dey\u0259s\u0259n kapitulasiya imzalan\u0131b…<\/p>\n \u2012 M\u0259nb\u0259? \u2013 atam yen\u0259 e\u015fitdiyin\u0259 \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259 ed\u0259r\u0259k m\u0259nd\u0259n soru\u015fdu.<\/p>\n \u2012 N\u0259 bilim. Bir sayt yaz\u0131r…<\/p>\n \u2012 H\u0259r yaz\u0131lana inanma.<\/p>\n Yar\u0131m saat \u0259rzind\u0259 bu x\u0259b\u0259r b\u00fct\u00fcn sosial \u015f\u0259b\u0259k\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 yay\u0131lma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131. Atam fikr\u0259 getmi\u015fdi. Hey z\u0259ngl\u0259r g\u0259lirdi, n\u0259yis\u0259 m\u00fczakir\u0259 edirdil\u0259r. Prezidentin n\u00f6vb\u0259ti \u00e7\u0131x\u0131\u015f\u0131 olmal\u0131 idi.<\/p>\n Q\u0131sa zamanda kapitulasiya x\u0259b\u0259ri \u00f6lk\u0259ni sarm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u0130nsanlar \u00e7a\u015fq\u0131nl\u0131q i\u00e7\u0259risind\u0259 idil\u0259r. Duy\u011fular\u0131m\u0131z aras\u0131nda \u201cdilemma\u201d ya\u015fan\u0131rd\u0131. Gec\u0259d\u0259n ke\u00e7mi\u015f, \u0130r\u0259vanda ba\u015f ver\u0259n hadis\u0259l\u0259ri g\u00f6st\u0259r\u0259n canl\u0131 yay\u0131ma qo\u015fulmu\u015fdum. Gah telefonun ekran\u0131na, gah da televizora zill\u0259nib gedi\u015fat\u0131 izl\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m. Anam arada ota\u011f\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b \u201cNiy\u0259 yatm\u0131rs\u0131z?\u201d sual\u0131n\u0131 verirdi. Atam da \u201cN\u0259 yatmaq? S\u0259n d\u0259 yatma. Tarixi an\u0131 qa\u00e7\u0131r\u0131rsan\u201d, – deyirdi. Bel\u0259c\u0259 zaman ax\u0131rd\u0131…<\/p>\n N\u0259hay\u0259t, gec\u0259 d\u00f6rd\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259mi\u015f b\u00fct\u00fcn \u00f6lk\u0259 dondu…<\/p>\n … Sonra yen\u0259 x\u00fclya…<\/p>\n \u201cM\u00fcharib\u0259 bitdi!\u201d – yaz\u0131b Yusif\u0259 g\u00f6nd\u0259rdim… Oxunulmayan, s\u0131raya d\u00fcz\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f mesajlardan biri d\u0259 artd\u0131…<\/p>\n … Ma\u015f\u0131nda b\u0259rk s\u0259sl\u0259 \u201cEy v\u0259t\u0259n\u201d mahn\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 qoymu\u015fduq. S\u0259h\u0259r saat 6-ya yax\u0131nla\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. He\u00e7 k\u0259s yatm\u0131rd\u0131. Ham\u0131 s\u0259s-s\u0259s\u0259 verib k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 ax\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Bak\u0131n\u0131n b\u00fct\u00fcn i\u015f\u0131qlar\u0131 yan\u0131rd\u0131. He\u00e7 bu q\u0259d\u0259r i\u015f\u0131ql\u0131 olmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131 \u015f\u0259h\u0259r…\u00a0 Ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131n yuxar\u0131 p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259sind\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xarm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m.\u00a0\u00a0 \u00dcz\u00fcm\u0259 vuran soyuq k\u00fcl\u0259k sanki b\u0259d\u0259nimd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xan istiy\u0259 qar\u0131\u015faraq buxarlan\u0131rd\u0131. Soyu\u011fu hiss etmirdim…\u00a0 D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcy\u00fcm t\u0259k \u015fey \u0259limd\u0259 b\u0259rk s\u0131x\u0131b saxlad\u0131\u011f\u0131m b\u00f6y\u00fck bayra\u011f\u0131n dal\u011falanmas\u0131 idi… Onu \u0259limd\u0259n buraxa bilm\u0259zdim. Yol q\u0131ra\u011f\u0131nda dayanan insanlar ma\u015f\u0131nlara \u0259l edir, alq\u0131\u015flay\u0131rd\u0131lar…<\/p>\n M\u00fcharib\u0259nin bitm\u0259sin\u0259mi sevinirdik, \u201cintiqam\u201d toxumu s\u0259pil\u0259n \u00fcr\u0259kl\u0259rimizin rahatlad\u0131\u011f\u0131nam\u0131 sevinirdik, yoxsa m\u0259cbur evind\u0259n did\u0259rgin d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f insanlar\u0131n ata-baba torpaqlar\u0131na qay\u0131daca\u011f\u0131nam\u0131 sevinirdik… B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn\u0259 bird\u0259n. B\u00f6y\u00fckl\u00fc – ki\u00e7ikli ham\u0131n\u0131n sevinm\u0259 s\u0259b\u0259bi var idi. Ya\u015fl\u0131 veteranlar x\u0259st\u0259liyin t\u00fc\u011fyan etdiyi, soyu\u011fun k\u0259sdiyi gec\u0259d\u0259, bir \u0259lind\u0259 \u0259sa, dig\u0259r \u0259lind\u0259 bayraq k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259ri f\u0259th edirdil\u0259r. K\u00f6rp\u0259 u\u015faqlar atalar\u0131n\u0131n belind\u0259 var g\u00fccl\u0259ri il\u0259 q\u0131\u015fq\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131lar. Qad\u0131nlar g\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 saxlaya bilm\u0259y\u0259r\u0259k, h\u00f6nk\u00fcrt\u00fc il\u0259 a\u011flay\u0131rd\u0131lar…<\/p>\n Bu g\u00fcn\u00fc d\u0259f\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 x\u0259yal\u0131mdan ke\u00e7irmi\u015fdim. Nec\u0259 olacaq? N\u0259l\u0259r ya\u015fanacaq? F\u0259rqli \u015f\u0259kill\u0259r g\u0259lirdi g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn qaba\u011f\u0131na. Ancaq indi g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcm b\u00fct\u00fcn s\u0259hn\u0259l\u0259r v\u0259 hiss etdiyim qar\u0131\u015f\u0131q duy\u011fular he\u00e7 zaman fikrimd\u0259n ke\u00e7m\u0259mi\u015fdi. Ba\u015fqa idi… Yan\u0131mda \u0259yl\u0259\u015f\u0259n qrup yolda\u015f\u0131m \u201cH\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 inana bilmir\u0259m. Qubadl\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6z\u00fcml\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259c\u0259m!\u201d – dey\u0259 t\u0259krar edirdi. Hey telefonu a\u00e7\u0131b evl\u0259rind\u0259n qalan da\u011f\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131n \u015f\u0259klini g\u00f6st\u0259rirdi… Yurdunu g\u00f6r\u0259 bil\u0259c\u0259yin\u0259 dair \u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259 \u00fcmid yaranm\u0131\u015fd\u0131…<\/p>\n Ham\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n \u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259 yan\u0131b-s\u00f6n\u0259n \u00fcmid i\u015f\u0131qlar\u0131 yaranm\u0131\u015fd\u0131…<\/p>\n 11 noyabr<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Ya\u011f\u0131\u015f ya\u011f\u0131rd\u0131… Dey\u0259s\u0259n gecik\u0259n pay\u0131z art\u0131q evin\u0259 g\u0259lirdi… S\u0259h\u0259r g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc a\u00e7\u0131b xeyli tavana baxd\u0131m. Evimizd\u0259 uzun zamandan sonra, \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc yen\u0259 t\u0259hl\u00fck\u0259siz hiss edirdim…<\/p>\n \u0130nstaqrama daxil olub s\u0259hif\u0259m\u0259 n\u0259z\u0259r yetirdim. Sakit tonlardan \u00fc\u00e7 r\u0259ng\u0259 etdiyim ke\u00e7id\u0259 baxd\u0131m. Son 44 g\u00fcn h\u0259yat\u0131m\u0131z ancaq bu r\u0259ngl\u0259rd\u0259n ibar\u0259t olmu\u015fdu sanki…<\/p>\n G\u00f6z\u00fcm k\u0259p\u0259n\u0259y\u0259 sata\u015fd\u0131… \u015e\u0259kli a\u00e7d\u0131m. M\u00fcharib\u0259 \u0259snas\u0131nda unutdu\u011fum \u201ch\u00fczurlu\u201d g\u00fcn yad\u0131ma d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Sildim…<\/p>\n Yenid\u0259n\u00a0payla\u015fd\u0131m. Bu d\u0259f\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259yimd\u0259n ke\u00e7\u0259n s\u00f6zl\u0259rl\u0259:<\/p>\n \u201cKe\u00e7di x\u0259yal\u0131mdan \u00f6z g\u00f6z\u0259l yurdum,<\/p>\n Dumanlar ba\u015f\u0131nda dastana d\u00f6nd\u00fcm…\u201d<\/p>\n Payla\u015f\u0131b yen\u0259 tavana zill\u0259ndim. Telefonum s\u0259s sald\u0131… Tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131m n\u00f6mr\u0259d\u0259n g\u0259l\u0259n mesaja baxd\u0131m:<\/p>\n \u201cM\u0259n\u0259m, Yusif\u201d…<\/p>\n Az\u0259rbaycan.media<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Aysel \u015eIXL\u0130NSKAYA 26 sentyabr N\u0259f\u0259simi saxlam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m.\u00a0 Bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131m yarpa\u011f\u0131n \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259 d\u00f6vr\u0259 vuran k\u0259p\u0259n\u0259y\u0259 zill\u0259nmi\u015fdi. H\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tsiz dayan\u0131b onu izl\u0259yirdim. N\u0259hay\u0259t, \u00fcrk\u0259k h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tl\u0259rl\u0259 astaca yarpa\u011f\u0131n \u00fcz\u0259rin\u0259 qondu… D\u00fcym\u0259ni basd\u0131m… Sonra d\u0259rind\u0259n \u201coh\u201d \u00e7\u0259kib… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":50145,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[63,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-50144","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dbiyyat","category-manset"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/azerbaycan.media\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50144","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/azerbaycan.media\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/azerbaycan.media\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/azerbaycan.media\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/azerbaycan.media\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=50144"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/azerbaycan.media\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50144\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":50147,"href":"https:\/\/azerbaycan.media\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50144\/revisions\/50147"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/azerbaycan.media\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/50145"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/azerbaycan.media\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=50144"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/azerbaycan.media\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=50144"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/azerbaycan.media\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=50144"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}